October 14, 2009

Freeing of Beliefs

I am in the process of writing a new book which uses sex as the main motivator for accomplishment. In it, I lay out a brief sketch of the history of sexual beliefs. For those who ever read up on this subject, it is fascinating to see how things changed over the thousands of years that man walked this planet.

Contrary to popular opinion, our sexual beliefs (or any other for that matter) are not written in stone. They are ideas that can change with time. We see this consistently at the individual level and witness it over centuries at the societal level. The belief of today does not reflect that of 500 years ago.

For example, did you know that before the 1100s, marriage was an institution devoid of emotional attachment? It was only during the age of romanticism that love entered the picture. Up until that point, both Christianity and Judaism promoted marriage as the mode for procreation. Nevertheless, this idea still had merit into the late 1800s with many marriages being arranged for political reasons. In fact, we still see this in Islam with powerful families uniting through the marriage of offspring.

Why do I bring all this up? My point here today is to show that being tied to our beliefs is an unhealthy way to approach life. This is especially true when we look at the BDSM way of life. To say that many of us are not mainstream is an understatement. Therefore, before we can accept living in this lifestyle, there needs to be a mental shift away from the traditional. In this instance, the concept of equality (or partnership is removed). BDSM is about a different power breakdown. Inequality is the norm. One has the power after the other cedes it over. This is vastly different from the average marriage where both people are considered in partnership.

BDSM starts in our head. Acceptance of the inner desires and your willingness to follow them is where your journey begins. There is something that initially drew all of us who are presently living in this way of life. However, for us to remain in it, we need to let go of some of the old beliefs that were drilled into us by society. It taught us what it believed happiness to be. Nevertheless, we were ones who found this did not apply to us. Thus, we found a way of life that did provide what we sought. Listening to the inner desires is crucial in my opinion.

Free yourself from the traditional beliefs of your upbringing. Begin to question those ideas that you carry around with you on a daily basis. Start to look at the reason why you believe something is right or wrong. Experience tells me this is something that was decided for us by others. The indoctrination process starts at a very young age and continues throughout life. Be one who is able to question what those around you proclaim. It is the key to freedom.

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