September 16, 2012

Out of Control

I want to relate to you a story that was told to me that can apply to the BDSM lifestyle.  There was a guy who had counseled others for about 20 years.  This guy was one who knew all the right things to say.  In fact, when needed, he could get a bit harsh with people in an effort to get them to stop deluding themselves.  However, he was also one who didnt practice what he preached.  It was unveiled that this gentleman, a person who assisted others with their emotional situations, had a great deal of road rage (I am sure there were other things but this is what I was told).  Ultimately, this is what caused his early demise.  It seems he had a habit of driving in excess of 100 mph to work (he traveled through a remote area).  As you can guess, one morning his luck ran out.  The sad part of this story is that he died in a head on collision with another vehicle while trying to pass on a double yellow line.  Therefore, he lack of emotional control not only cost him his life, but the life of an innocent person. 

The reason why I bring this up is because I see so many in the BDSM community (especially online) who have lives that are completely out of control.  What causes me dismay is these people claim to be "Masters".  Masters of what is my question.  If someone cannot control their own life, how can they expect to control that of another person?  To me, this is just common sense.  I recently was watching a motivational video and there was a phrase that really struck me: if you cant handle cleaning the dishes properly, how can you expect to properly run a fortune 500 company?  I see this same analogy applying to "Masters".  If a person's (dominant) life is a total mess, I find it hard to believe that he or she will be able to adequately run that of another.

Out of control people are that way for a reason.  It is the habits and knowledge that we apply that lead to the results we get.  Take the area of money.  Many people are flat broke.  For some, this is an understandable outcome of some trying circumstances.  However, there are others who simply are inadequate at the managing of finances.  Sadly, it is these same people who demand that a slave turn all her wages over to him.  For what reason?  All evidence points to the fact that he will simply waste the money.  Why?  His ability in this area is out of control.  He is one who is ill suited for this responsibility.  Until one can do for oneself, he or she cannot do for another.

Remember this the next time you encounter someone who is going to be in a position to make decisions in your life.  What is his/her success rate on their own.  Just because someone talks about emotional control, that doesnt mean that he is cured of his road rage.  And, as the aforementioned story indicated, the outcomes can be catastrophic.

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