October 2, 2009

What Is The Rush?

What is the appropriate courting period in the traditional world? Obviously the answer varies for each couple. There are some who dated for years only to have their marriage end in divorce. By the same token, there are some who date only a few weeks before tying the knot and end up staying together for a lifetime. Thus, we can see there is no definite answer.

The same is true in our lifestyle. Nobody can state how long two people should interact before submission takes place. It will vary for each couple. However, my only suggestion is that most need to take more time than they do. The tendency in my experience is to rush ahead into things without truly getting to know the other person.

Much of the problem with those that I am observing is that they are just being introduced to this way of life when they want to dive in. The analogy I use is the girl who wants to get married after having one date. What is the likelihood that would turn into a success? Not very likely. The same is true here. When one is just learning about this way of life, the worst thing that can happen is to get involved with another.

In my book, An Owned Life, I spell out the 3 Step Submission Process. Whenever I see people taking the fast track in this lifestyle, I know they are mixing the order up. There is a definite procedure that each of us has to go through. Doing things another way than what I spell out usually leads to harm and suffering.

The ones who have a chance at a successful relationship when moving forward quickly are those who are experienced in this way of life. This is because they can usually tell another exactly what they are looking for. When someone new tries the same tactic, it is because they are caught up in the nirvana of the "newness". It is the idea that they are in love with as opposed to the lifestyle.

So ask yourself this basic question,"what is the rush". Why are you so determined to submit (or accept someone's submission) so soon? If this is online, obviously it is less dramatic then doing so in person. I say this because we all know how different the emotions are when real time is involved. Nevertheless, it is best to take things slow. A suitable match will endure a few extra months.

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