The Extreme Side OF BDSM

Many think the images they see online are what constitutes the "extreme" aspect of BDSM. This might be true if it was real. However, most of the images we see are scenes established by professionals. They are actors playing a role. While the techniques they exemplify are accurate, it is not real BDSM.

That being said, pain is not the most extreme thing one will encounter in this lifestyle. When one looks at all the different aspects of BDSM, they will understand that the Master/slave relationship is the most extreme. Nothing comes close to the immensity of this way of living.

At the foundation of M/s is the total exchange of power. This is what separates M/s from every other type of relationship. All power is absolutely in the hands of the Master or Mistress. A slave retains control over no aspect of his or her life except what is approved by that Master (Mistress). This is a hard pill to swallow if you are not prepared for what this all entails.

Too many glamorize this way of life. For whatever reason, new people believe that by getting into M/s, that suddenly they will be living a sexually extreme life with the One fawning all over them. Sadly, most are slapped with reality when this does not materialize.

To start, there is nothing that says a Master (Mistress) will not think of you as "precious". Of course, nothing says he (or she) will either. Each situation is different. Many seek the romance that they were previously missing in the traditional world. Thus, they believe M/s holds that allure. However, the facts spell out a different reality.

M/s is often lonely, harsh, and unrewarding. There are times when you are overlooked or placed on a "back burner". This is something that many have a tough time accepting. They want to be the prized possession of Master. Being cast aside is not how the fairytale is suppose to go. Well, I would suggest letting go of the fairytale because it is only setting you up for disappointment.

I wrote that most cannot handle being a slave. They will state that is what they are especially after being so obedient while online. The truth is that real time offers a host of other disappointments that few are capable of handling. Nobody tells of the frustration at having to deal with all of One's negative emotions while not being allowed to participate in the positive ones. Few mention what it is like to be ignored while he plays with another. It is unenviable to learn that work, football, and his buddies rank higher than you do. And, it is almost impossible to sit home waiting for him only to get a grunt as he walks through the door and hands you his lunch pail.

Naturally, some of these examples are a bit over-the-top, but they do drive home the point. When you submit to someone in a M/s relationship, all power is removed from you. All the power lies in the one who accepted the submission. This is how it works. Total power exchange is 100%-0%. It is not a 75/25 or a 90/10 proposition. All choices are made by the one in charge and that is not the slave. Your position is to accept while being prepared when you are beckoned. The course of the relationship is at his (her) discretion.

This is what it means in my opinion to live extreme. Tying someone up with an asshook in is a bit more than most can handle. However, I think it child's play compared to the emotional situations the radical power distribution creates. This is not something that is for the weak or faint of heart. Over the years I have proclaimed that slaves are not weak people. To the contrary; anyone truly living as a slave in a successful M/s relationship is stronger than Hercules. It takes inner fortitude to be able to persevere through this particular lifestyle. Those that do are wonderful people with a lot to offer. Sadly, those who cannot are only crushed to pieces. It is the reality that I see on a regular basis.

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