October 5, 2009

Time To Reflect

This is a human condition. We all need to recharge our batteries periodically. Time spent reflecting upon the state of our lives is a healthy endeavor. Entering the BDSM world not preclude us from this idea. It is something that everyone should engage in.

Many understand the idea that a Dom/Master needs this time. However, it is my experience that a submissive person needs it also. There are times in life when issues outside a relationship must be dealt with. Sometimes one needs to be given some space to sort out what is wrong. This is not a reflection upon the Dom/Master, but, rather, just something that needs to be done.

Many dominant types seem to get overbearing. They believe that because they are in charge that he/she needs to interject him/herself into every situation. This is not so. Often, the best track it to stand back a ways and give a person space.

Nobody likes to be smothered. This is true in the traditional arena and equally true here. Just because one submits to being in a BDSM relationship, does not mean that he or she wants to be shadowed. Healthy relationships, no matter what the makeup, require space being given to the other person on occasion. This is a fact of life.

I often write that the only significant different between a BDSM relationship and a traditional one is power breakdown. Other than this fundamental fact, many of the same things exist as in the vanilla world. We are still dealing with people and basic interpersonal skills apply. And one of the talents needed is to know when to pull back. We all know how overbearing tends to push people away. People are like water, the tighter you hold onto them, the more they slip through your fingers. Remember this the next time you are chasing after someone who just needs a little space.

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