I will start by stating that this post is going to tick some people off. However, it is something I feel moved to write after encountering a few people who struck me as real. They were the types who we all seek out when we enter this lifestyle. Nevertheless, these people were experiencing the same frustration as most because of all the pretenders.
Slavery is extreme!
This is something that is non-negotiable in my opinion. Too many try to water down the concept to fit a variety of lifestyle choices. To me, this is not what it is all about. I see so many who want to remove the idea of Total Power Exchange (TPE) from the equation. They want to term themselves "slaves" while retaining power over choices in life. This is not what it is all about.
A slave is someone who opts to give all up to another. It is that simple. I do not know why such a basic idea got turned upside down. But it did. Somewhere along the way, people decided that this was going to be an all-encompassing term. I disagree with this sentiment.
The choice of being a slave is something that only a few can actually live up to. It is extreme in the sense of how one agrees to live his or her life. I can attest that it is not for the weak. It takes great strength, courage, and knowledge to be able to completely turn oneself over to another. Those that do it deserve the utmost of respect. At the same time, their lot in life should not be degraded by all those who want to "play slave".
Anyone who opts to live as a slave is agreeing to be seen as property. That is what a slave is. It is one that is owned and used as the one in possession sees fit. This is another idea that has been diluted over the years. There are no rules when it comes to how one uses a particular item that is owned by him or her.
My sofa is a prime example. I am free to do whatever I wish to is since I own it. I can piss on it if I see fit. Sleeping on it naked is my choice. Masturbating and covering it with cumstains is an option I hold. And, nobody else can say anything about how I use my sofa. There is no right or wrong way for me to treat my possession.
A slave is the same way. Anyone who truly wants to live this aspect oft he lifestyle should remember the extreme nature of this idea. When one submits to another, he or she is agreeing to be on the same plane as anything else that particular Master owns. Property is picked up and used based upon the desire of the owner.
The "Cherished" Slave
I cannot tell you how many I ran into who have the desire to be "cherished". This is an idea that seems common among the Gorean types. They are led to believe that their service and submission is something that a Master should hold in high regard. In my opinion, this is nothing more than an attempt to put themselves on an ego-driven pedestal. It is a method for him or her to dictate the treatment that will be received.
Here is a secret: the treatment received in a M/s relationship is solely at the discretion of the one in charge. Just like I can do whatever I want to my sofa, the same holds true for my slave. I treat that person with respect, indignation, or contempt. All decisions reside with me and my concern is not how she will receive them. Her service is a value to me and I get results that I like, but she is no more cherished than some of the other items that I own.
This is something else that goes against our basic social conditioning. A slave's thoughts or feelings are mostly irrelevant except when asked for. There are times when I value my slave's input. However, as for the way she receives the decisions that I make, that is a consideration that is not needed on my part. She agreed to this when she submitted to me.
Again, this is another example of the extreme nature of this aspect of the lifestyle. A slave is used for the benefit of the Master. How he or she perceives the situation is immaterial. They often get upset at the decisions that are made. That is a part of the lifestyle. Feelings are not facts and the central fact is that when one is owned, he or she is treated accordingly.
The Master/slave dichotomy is a harsh one. There are many times when a slave will be treated with respect. However, there are others when she is on the end of a whim of the Master. This could come in any for including anger, sexual, sadistic, and neurotic. A Master might show compassion one minute while telling her to clean out the garage the next.
This is a 24/7 way of life. There are no holidays or days off. One cannot earn vacation time. A slave is expected to be on call every minute of everyday. She forfeits the choice of establishing her own schedule or maintaining her friends. All is given is only done so with the approval of the Master. A slave cannot earn anything. It is all granted to her by another.
I will tell you this way of life is too harsh for most. They cannot handle the one-sidedness of all interaction. Service is something that few actually consider and how literally the meaning is taken. When you are in my service, you are completely under my domain. I will utilize you how I see fit. Most cannot handle this yet this is what being a slave is all about. Sadly, those who are presently living this way are being disgraced by all the frauds online who simply sign up for a site and call themselves "slave".
Remember this idea the next time you encounter someone who claims they are seeking to live 24/7 as a slave. The odds are they are not equipped to live in this manner. Only a small percentage have what it takes.
Next, I will write a post about what it takes to truly live as a Master. You will not be surprised to know that most who profess to be Masters are not.
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