October 23, 2009

"Desperate Subbies"

I recent came across an article that spoke of this topic. This section was contained within a larger context, but I felt this particular point was worth mentioning.

There are many online who have recently uncovered their submissive side. This is something that might have been stirring for years or, perhaps, a recent revelation. Either way, a person is interested in giving control over to another.

We are all good up to this point. The problem arises when we look at the background of some of these individuals. Many seem to have horrific track records in the area of life. (This is a generalization but one that seems to hold true) This, in my opinion, has led them to search out approval from wherever they can get it. The result is one who became a "desperate subbie".

We see these individuals all the time online. These are the ones who would submit to a tree if given the opportunity. They get with a "Master" after a short courtship (usually one or two online chats) and then are "owned". Of course, when the truth comes out about either of them, our little sub is off on another quest for the "One". Fortunately, his or her search is rewarded quickly with another One taking control.

It is easy to see the fallacy in this person's life. The desperation is what causes one to totally ignore the experience and capabilities of the other. Most times the "desperate subbie" just repeats the same tragic behavior that is common throughout his or her life. Sadly, sometimes these people become statistics. There are more than a few nuts out there who are willing to go to crazy lengths. Self preservation is an important matter.

M/s, as all other parts of BDSM, center around the "relationship". This is an alternative lifestyle of how people choose to structure their relationships. The success on that depends upon the abilities and interpersonal skills of those involved. Whenever you have someone who is emotionally or mentally unbalanced, there are going to be issues in the relationship. This is true no matter how it is structured.

A healthy self esteem is crucial for success in all areas of life. BDSM is no different. People who lack this vital component are apt to make poor decisions based upon fear. Acting out of desperation is never a good thing. It often leads to horrible conclusions.

The sad truth is that you can rarely help someone in this type of mindset. It is often best to leave these people alone. For whatever reason, they get obtuse when questioned about their behavior. They claim to know what they are doing yet their results show the exact opposite. At the end of the day, these types of people just suck the life out of you. Moving on is my only suggestion.

Click here for your version of An Owned Life.


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