August 7, 2009

The True Basis of Submission

Most seem to miss the essential essence of one's submission. They seem to think that having someone under his/her control is a license to be a jerk. At the same time, they look at the small picture of "what am I getting out of this". If they would just look at the bigger picture, their relationships would be taken to a greater height.

The basic essence of submission is servitude. One submits to another because he or she wants to please the Dom/Master. Sexually this idea is rather obvious. However, when we move beyond the sex, we soon realize that this applies to all aspects of life. The position of a submissive it to make the life of the one he or she is serving easier. It is that simple.

This concept puts the dominant one in a different position. Instead of using one for the sole pleasure in the moment, a longer term view nets greater results. The training of one is often a method to enlarge his or her capabilities. My belief is the more a sub can handle, the more valuable to me she is. If she can satisfy more of my needs, I feel this will make my life a lot easier.

I see many who take the opposite track. They want to beat a sub down to reaffirm their positions. This is insane to me. First, if you have to reaffirm your position, it is usually to yourself and not the sub. Secondly, beating one down only diminishes self confidence. Dealing with someone who has no self confidence is like dealing with a beaten dog. It takes continual effort and work. To me, this gets really tiring.

The bottom line is that I operate with the belief that a sub will better serve me the more she can handle. Without this concept, I might be apt to focus on the immediate pleasure I am receiving. While I like this, there are times when it is best to forgo that in an effort to help one grow. Sometimes it is better to tortoise as opposed to the hare.

Try to take a long-term approach with your sub. See how this person can best serve you over the years as compared to just this moment. You will find your interaction with that one will change. In my experience, there is a lot more gained from this approach.

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