August 13, 2009

Hard Limits


What is a hard limit? It seems like the definition ought to be pretty straight forward. A hard limit is a line that a sub/slave cannot or will not cross. Hence we use the word hard as opposed to soft. You can pretty much write that one in stone. It is an action that a slave simply cannot take for whatever reason. To try to push one past this point will have severe consequences.

There are many examples of hard limits. Most, but not all, limits tend to deal with past abuses. Some simply have not received the necessary therapy to deal with things such as rape, violence, or molestation. Certain activities are sure to "remind" the sub/slave of the past events. This is something which might cause more psychological damage. Thus, any hard limit ought to be avoided.

As you can see, a hard limit is something that stems from something pretty severe. It is not to be taken lightly. However, I see many online who do that very thing. They claim that many actions are hard limits simply because they do not want to do the activity. This is disrespectful to the lifestyle and also diminishing to those who suffered the aforementioned ill treatment. This is not something to joke about.

Just because a sub/slave finds something to be unappealing, or even revolting, does not mean that is a hard limit. For example, a Dom/Master who tells one to suck a homeless guys cock. While that might be filthy and disgusting, it is not a hard limit. Sucking cock is something that most can do. Just because they do not like what that cock is attached to is of no consequence. It is not a hard limit. An obedient sub/slave will adhere to the instructions.

Fear is a big driver of the reasons why one will throw out the hard limit line. The fact that one fears the unknown tells me that there is no basis for putting on a limit. I saw a number of instances where a sub/slave claimed something was a hard limit only to ultimately enjoy the activity. The fear wasn't based upon past experiences. In these cases it was a fear of the unknown and projecting which caused her to resist. Again, this does not qualify as a hard limit.

The final point I want to make is that degree of difficulty is also not a barometer to go by. Just because one is asked to do something that is not easy, does not entitle her to claim a hard limit. Do what you are told and give it your best effort. That is the place of a submissive. Her place is to learn to overcome the challenges that she is confronted with the help of her Dom/Master.

People who continually throw out the hard limit line end up hurting themselves. It is like continually crying "fire". After a few false alarms, others are not so quick to respond. One who says something is a hard limit only to easily surpass it will find their Dom/Master hesitant to believe them the next time around. The trust level in that area was tarnished. He has no basis to believe this time is the truth. Therefore, a sub/slave might be put into a situation which could potentially harm her. The way to avoid this is to be prudent with the claims that something is a hard limit.

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fucked up. You're an abusive cunt. What you consider traumatizing may be different than your sub, clearly. So you think that the steps in this relationship after trust is lost is to just ignore the limits? Great idea. Good luck to you on that. I should say good luck to them. Maybe you could be an adult and talk with this human being about the issue instead of putting them in harms way. Total douchebag.

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