August 12, 2009

The Right Way

There are many who feel there is only one way to live the BDSM lifestyle. This is a conclusion I draw based upon the obtuse posts that people put online. Many seem to feel that what they know is the only acceptable to live in the BDSM world. Sadly, that is completely incorrect.

This is something that we witness in the online world almost exclusively. Those who live in real time know that each relationship is different. Masters might compare some of the things they do but, in the end, each person is different. This is equally true for slaves. They all differ in their abilities and desires.

My regular readers know that I am not a proponent of the "one size fits all" concept. Many seem to think there is one way to live this lifestyle. I found that those people are looking for the "rituals" they see online. Therefore, they believe that anything which deviates from that model is incorrect.

The problem with this mindset is that most of the rituals do not cross over into real life. The work wonderfully in the role play world yet become a hindrance in real time. There are certain situations where dealing with those who are not part of the lifestyle is necessary. One cannot realistically kneel at his/her work when the Master or Mistress enters. It simply is not practical.

Those who are experienced in this life know there are a variety of ways to run a relationship. Ultimately, the Dom/Master involved determines the course. This is an individual concept based upon the experience and desires of that person. To judge how another behaves is not our place. If it works for them, so be it. At the end of the day, it is up to each to decide their own happiness. Living according to the ideas of someone else is what led us to seek out this way of life in the first place. We need not duplicate that mistake by succumbing to the beliefs of others.

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