August 15, 2009

Give Yourself The Freedom


In my book, An Owned Life, I wrote about the 3 Step Submission Process. Many seem to think that finding a Dom/Master to submit to is the most important part of this process. They believe that the person that is chosen will determine the success or failure of the M/s relationship. Unfortunately for them, this is completely false.

Before anyone is capable of submitting, or dominating for that matter, a great deal of internal work is first necessary. We all live in a world where we are conditioned by society to believe certain things. It is impossible for any of us to escape this reality. We have parents, religious entities, and the media all promoting certain belief systems. By the time we are in our teens, this conditioning is deeply ingrained in us.

One of the major precepts we are taught is equality among the sexes. Gender equality is one of the dominating issues over the last 40 years. While this is a good move from a societal standpoint, it is something that doesnt ring true for many individuals. There are a great number of people who prefer to celebrate the gender differences.

In the D/s or M/s relationship, we see how the power is split in an uneven fashion. Many times this will fall among the traditional sex lines. However, with all the Mistresses and male subs out there, we see that domination can be natural for a female also. The bottom line is that a relationship that goes against equality is at odds with society in general.

The reason I bring all this up is to make you aware of the fact that you will have to seriously consider breaking free from your old thinking. That is the most important part of the submission process. We need to internally investigate what we believe is true for us. This takes courage. Many prefer to simply follow the path laid out for them by society. Sadly, this often ends in misery.

It takes strength to give yourself the freedom to accept the way that you want to live. We often are going to suffer rejection at the hands of those closest to us. Society is a mechanism which promotes captivity. Everyone is trying to put people in a little box where they can be manipulated. We claim to be free but few really are.

Go to school, get an education, get a job, meet someone nice (of the opposite sex), get married, have kids, live happily ever after. This is the mantra we are often taught. Following this path will lead to success and happiness is what we are told. As we all know, this is a lie. The majority of the population suffers from depression of some sort. They live in captivity.

Today, I implore you to stop doing this yourself. If you are remotely interested in this way of life, approach it with an open-mind. Resist the temptation to judge since you will be implementing old beliefs. Society frowns upon how we live. That is a given. Accept that your entry into this will put you at odds with most you know. Few care enough to take the time to understand what we are involved in. Thus, we resist even mentioning to them what we do.

The BDSM world is a wonderful way to live for those who are right for it. Many who went through this process found the happiness that was lost in traditional relationships. They were able to give themselves the freedom to choose how they want to live. For us, this is how we were meant to be. Give yourself the same chance.

Click here for your version of An Owned Life.

1 comments:

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