August 31, 2009

Grasping With Reality

In my travels online I get the sense that many feel that the BDSM world is a "fantasy" life which will solve all problems. Perhaps I am mistaken but that is the impression I get from the way many "talk". They seem to feel their Dom/Master is the best in the world while putting him or her on a pedestal. To me, this idea shows the disconnect from reality.

I often write how entry in the BDSM world will not solve all your life problems. Those of us who live this way still experience many of the same issues as everyone else. We lose jobs and encounter financial difficulties. Health problems hit us in the same way as the general population. There are hard times in our relationships with some ending in separation. And, of course, we still have those family events to deal with. In short, we are just another member of society doing the best we can.

BDSM does offer us a way to fulfill the inner desires within us. Many of us found that we were not exactly suited for the vanilla life. BDSM offers us an alternative that is more to our liking. This is the positive aspect which is commonly agreed upon.

However, it is crucial to remember that we are dealing with people. This lifestyle centers around a relationship. Whether we are talking M/s, D/s, or a typical relationship with BDSM added, the fact remains that interpersonal skills still apply. There are many times that utilizing these skills is necessary to move past an obstacle. Those who believe that entry into this way of life will create the fairy tale life are sadly mistaken.

Much is written about the merits and drawbacks to the Internet. Enabling one to disconnect from reality is one of the disadvantages to this latest communication medium. For relationships to grow, there needs to be real live interaction between the two parties. When this is absent, there is stagnation.

The bottom line is that nobody is perfect. Whoever the person is that you are dealing with, he or she will have flaws. People make mistakes. This is part of the human experience. However, to elevate them to an iconic level is setting yourself up for disappointment. After all, we all put our pants on one leg at a time.

Remain grounded in reality by remembering that BDSM is offering another form of relationships. However, when dealing with a relationship, there are going to be ups and downs. Those who are committed will survive. Relationships take work. You must be willing to put in the effort.

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