June 17, 2009

The Personality Issue

I cannot say it any clearer than this: more conflicts seem to arise out of personalities what for any other reason. Personalities often clash unexpectedly. Whenever things are traveling along smoothly and they abruptly change, it is often the result of a quirk in personality. Therefore, maybe it is important for us to understand how crucial this component is in our decision-making.

As the regular readers know, I am involved with many people simultaneously. Sometimes I am into poly relationships while, others, are multi-person. The difference between the two seems to be how all interact with each other. The barometer tends to be the personality clashes (or lack of) that exist.

Many seek to get involved with a Master or Dom without thinking of the consequences. The reverse is also true when One is seeking someone to have submit. It appears that anyone will do who is willing to move forward. Sadly, this is where the death of the relationship starts. In effect, it is doomed before it began.

Personality conflicts enter all areas of our lives. We have them with families, co-workers, and employers. We also will have them in our personal relationships if we are not careful. The traditional world does a good job training people to fit those with whom they are compatible with. Yet we fail to promote this same ideal within this alternative lifestyle. It appears the only qualification is to unite a dominant type with a submissive type. As long as both of those are met, there is a match.

This is where the trainwrecks come from. Sex is a wonderful part of life (and this lifestyle). However, as most know, relationships need to move past that if they are ever to last. Sad but true. The ones that are forced together without much thought of how each personality will interact end up in destruction.

How do you get past this? As Master who interacts with many at the same time, I understand the concept of matching personalities the best I can. Even with a mind towards it, there are times when mistakes are made. Sometimes the best method is to keep people separated from each other. I find this alleviates some of the strain as a result of the personality conflicts. This is where poly moves into the multi-person realm.

Some people simply do not get along. There are clashes of their personalities which cannot be overcome. This is true for both subs/slaves as well as for Doms/Masters. I personally had a situation at a sex gathering where there was one woman who so turned me off with her snotty personality that I would have thrown her through a window before fucking her. She was stunning to look at but lost it all when she opened her mouth (and not to suck a cock either). Basically, her and I would never get along no matter how long we interacted.

Whenever you are looking to get with someone new, look at their personality to see if it is something that is accommodating to you. Do this before you submit to a Dom/Master. Before bringing another into the mix, see how she will interact with the others who are already there. Of course there is no guarantee for success. Nevertheless, the awareness might increase your chances.

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