June 28, 2009


Discipline is one of the most important aspects of BDSM. Whatever the basis of the relationship, there needs to be discipline when there is one in a submissive role. The central fact is that people tend to lack the discipline to fulfill One's desires. This is where corrective action is required.

Mistakes will be made. Before going any further, there is a difference between a mistake and disobedience. When one tries to accomplish a task but cannot do so because of an issue outside of him/her, that is not worthy of discipline. Neither are honest mistakes in my opinion. Usually a corrective word or showing one how You want it done will be enough. Of course, repeated mistakes after shown will necessitate some action on Your part.

I often compare owning a slave to child rearing. Many of the attributes are similar. The fact is that both instances have someone dependent upon you to shape his/her future. You are responsible for molding them into what you think best. In the BDSM world, this is to be the ideal sub/slave for you. Sadly, people enter this lifestyle with different experiences, beliefs, and desires. Often they can conflict with what a Dom/Master is attempting to accomplish. When this occurs, a bit of discipline is required. In my book, An Owned Life, I thoroughly cover this concept.

Use discipline the same way You would with a child. It is important to remember the ultimate goal is to model behavior. Punishments without reasons do not qualify as discipline but, rather, abuse. Keep this in mind.

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