June 27, 2009

How Important Is Sex?

Often I write how sex is not the major component of a M/s or D/s lifestyle. While many relegate BDSM to only their sexual practice, others prefer to expand it to other areas of their lives. The domination does not end with orgasm. Instead, it carries on into those aspects that both parties agreed upon.

People like sex. It is one of the most powerful motivators in life. Scratch that. Sex is the most powerful motivator. This single instinct makes people go to the greatest of lengths. They will do anything to increase the amount of sex they get.

Society is full of situations which prove this point. Take the automobile industry. Why do companies like Porsche, Ferrari, and Jaguar exists. They provide automobiles which get guys laid. These vehicles show the power and success required to make one attractive to the opposite sex.

Exercise is done for the same reason. We all know the health benefits of working out. Nevertheless, how many people workout for the purpose of getting healthier. The same people exercising at the gym are also eating a double cheeseburger or drinking alcohol to excess. Instead, I maintain, most people work out to improve their attractiveness to the opposite sex.

M/s and D/s are lifestyles where the sexual control is turned over to the dominant one. This is the foundation of the total power exchange. People who are drawn to this way of life tend to be high sex-drive people. It offers a way for them to fulfill the inner desires while attending to many of the fantasies they harbor. BDSM carries the taboo since mainstream society puts it down.

Sex in the M/s or D/s world is just as important as it is in a marriage. However, it is crucial to note that it is not the entire relationship. Sex-based relationships get old quickly. Also, sex is something that can be withheld as a method of altering behavior. Those who stray down the wrong path often are trained in this manner. It strikes at the very core of each person.

My view is that BDSM is something that goes contrary to what society promotes. There is a standard which is agreed upon and any deviation from that is considered "perverted". I can only presume this is the way it always was. However, we who are in this lifestyle believe that we are free to choose how we live. Diverse sexual interests is something that many of us have and we do not apologize for it. The wish to fulfill our desires is something that we do not subdue. That is part of the freedom we experience.

If sex is important to you, make it a part of your BDSM experience. There is no reason why you have to contour to the standard norm which is offered by the vanilla world. The sad part is that deep down, they secretly envy us because of the freedom we enjoy.

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