June 6, 2009

How Committed Are You?

Many have the luxury of drifting in and out of this lifestyle. There are some who can call up a Dom whenever the urge hits to go "play". Others, while making a more concerted decision, such as being a slave, are able to move back to traditional when the mood fits this. This was the case with me for years.

I had a stirring within me that drew me to this particular way of life. However, because of the conditioning of society, I was not able to totally commit myself. In my book, An Owned Life, I refer to the power that this has over us. Hearing the same message repeatedly since we were young makes us believe that is the only possibility for life. The truth is the number of different lifestyles are too numerous to mention.

Nevertheless, since I was single without being a custodial parent, I was afforded the opportunity to drift between this way of life and the traditional. Each time I met the girl who I believed was the "one", I bolted back to the vanilla world. As you can guess, that always ended up in a train wreck. The point being, the decision solely affected me and I was the only one to suffer the consequences.

I wish I could say this is the common avenue taken. Sadly, many give up a great deal more in their pursuit of happiness. My belief is that people who are drawn to this lifestyle do so because of an inner desire that is natural to them. I mention some of this in my book. There are many other people who can be affected while not understanding the choices we make. In return, they can act in ways which are extremely unkind.

This lifestyle is about freedom. Many people will talk about this virtue yet few experience. They fail to realize just how enslaved they really are. Everything from the acting out based upon the beliefs of others to doing a job that one hates to pay off creditors shows just how little people really have. The truth is that it takes a great deal of courage to choose to be free. And, when making this choice, there is a risk of alienation by others.

So, the process starts with deciding "how committed are you"? Are you willing to experience the backlash that can often come from those we love the most? Family members are the people who are closest to us yet they cause the most pain. They tend to believe that everything is done "to them". This causes them to miss the fact that people need to choose to live life as they see fit. Again, I feel much of the negative response comes from the fact they do not have the courage themselves to live as they want. Therefore, a backlash is inevitable.

Every choice has consequences. Are you willing to endure some of the negative ones you might encounter? There is a great risk that you might alienate friends or family (or they do this to you). It is best to consider this possibility when looking at this way of life. Enter it with your eyes as wide open as possible.

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