June 26, 2009


I write often about questioning your choice to adopt this way of life. I believe that it is best for people to look at the decisions they make even before they make them. Too many seem to believe what they experience online is reality. This was shown to be a conclusion which causes a great deal of heartache.

Today I am going to take the opposite approach. There is a time to stop thinking and begin taking action. Many will try to dwell upon a situation when confronted with a decision. This is avoidance. In life we must all move forward at times. However, because we lack a crystal ball, there is uncertainty with our decisions.

This concept applies not only to BDSM, D/s, or M/s. It is a fact of life. No matter what you are deciding, presuming it is of great importance, you are going to be apprehensive. Consider the choice of college to attend. Or the first house you bought. Or some cars which you purchased. When signing the paperwork, there is a feeling within you of "am I making a mistake".

The truth is that we are going to experience uncertainty in life. There are times when we must proceed despite being nervous. Nobody can know what the right choice in 100% of the time. That is where faith, trust, or intuition come in. We take the facts as they are presented, weigh the pros and cons, and make a choice.

When looking at entering this lifestyle, there are many questions one is confronted with. However, this is no different then those who get "cold feet" on their wedding day. People who experience this feel an uncertainty about the "lifelong" decision they are about to make. Yet most move forward in spite of this feeling and get married. Sometimes, one just needs to move forward in spite of the feelings.

There is no such thing as complete certainty. Uncertainty is a result of decisions since that is it's nature. We never know how a decision will turn out. Even the most educated of guesses can turn out wrong. That is okay. We learn the lesson and progress forward.

If you have done all the research you can and have an understanding what you are getting into, then it is time to take action. Ultimately life is lived in the present. Analysis, research, and opinion seeking are future focus activities. Even if we are uncertain, we must eventually take the leap. If we do not, this lifestyle will continue to allude us.

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clnt2009 on June 26, 2009 at 5:30 PM said...

very well written....mind blowing post...thanks!

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