June 3, 2009

Growth Versus Smothering

There are many different ways to deal with subs/slaves. I would surmise that this is an individual as it comes. Personal preference of a Dom/Master comes into play in the way He interacts with those under His domain. Nevertheless, I found there are basically two different approaches people can take.

The first is what I call smothering. This is where one is ruled with an "iron fist". She is not permitted any room to grow or breathe. All responsibility is removed from her. Thinking is not part of the deal. It is fairly common for a person in this position to get belittled excessively. In effect, her spirit is broken.

Another approach commonly used is foster an atmosphere of growth. A sub/slave can be shown different things and learn to adapt to please. Responsibility can be heaped upon a person in this scenario as long as she learns what her Dom/Master is truly seeking. For example, I do not want to be bothered with any decisions regarding the household. That is too tedious for me. Therefore, I delegate that to one to handle on my behalf. Periodically I will inspect to make sure everything is as it needs to be. Other than that, it is her realm.

Personally I prefer the second method. The first I find is common among those who are fearful. Newer people tend to gravitate towards this method out of ignorance. They believe the concept of dominating is to beat up one. Nothing could be further than the truth.

The power I wield over my subs/slaves exists even when I am not present. In my book, An Owned Life, I referred to those who dominate out of fear. The problem with using the first method is that the power dwindles as One physically leaves. In other words, He needs to be present.

When I utilize the concept of responsibility, I have a sub/slave's desire to fulfill my wishes. This is something that is a lot more powerful than the threat of punishment. Her fear of disappointing me propels her into action. Because she is able to handle more responsibility, I can leave certain activities to her with the belief they will be accomplished. Failure to complete the task will rarely be from a lack of effort. Usually it is because of a circumstance beyond her control.

In the end, a Dom/Master is going to use methods that are personal to Him. However, I feel that most people will fall into one of the two categories. It is helpful to recognize them when interacting with another.

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