September 30, 2009

Letting Them Fail

Failure is our greatest teacher. The situations where we fall down are the ones which propel us forward at a later date. Experience often is the best teacher there is. For this reason, there are times when a Dom/Master simply needs to let one fail.

We all want to protect those who are under our control. This is shown in how a parent wants to protect a child from harm. It is natural and healthy. Of course, some become so overbearing where they will not let the child do anything. We all met those types.

Any rational parent knows that it is impossible to protect a child from everything. In fact, those who are overprotected tend to grow up maladjusted. It is through the trials of life that one grows.

A sub/slave needs to be treated in the same manner. Much of her (or his) growth will come from making mistakes. This is a natural and necessary part of the process. All of us differ in our talents, experiences, and desires. We are a sum of all that preceded us to this point. Failure is an experience we need.

Many want to take a sub/slave by the hand and guide her through all things. This is the wrong approach in my opinion. I believe it is more effective to show one what is required and let her feel her way through things. This might seem like a bit cold-hearted but it creates better results long-term.

Letting a sub/slave fail helps her to grow. Often, the knowledge from the situation overrides the need for punishment. Punishments are meant as a way to alter behavior while emphasizing a point. If a sub/slave learns the lesson, the point is emphasized. Typically, the fact that she disappointed is enough for her to learn the lesson.

Therefore, approach a sub/slave the same way that you would a child. Allow them to fall at certain times. This will lead to growth which is something that all healthy relationships experience. Remember, when we are not growing, we are dying.

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