Is your Master poly? Some are, many are not. Nevertheless, do not be upset if you suddenly find out that your Master is interested in taking on another. This is within the rights of a Master.
I encounter many who tell me they are interested in being slaves. They want to be "owned" and are looking for the right person to submit to. They have illusions of a wonderful relationship where he will focus all his attention on her. She, in turn, will wait on him hand and foot on their path to eternal happiness. Oh, and we cannot forget the incredible sex which surely is to occur.
As wonderful as this concept is, I am often amazed at the roadblock that one has when I ask about poly Masters. Most tell me they do not want to be in a poly relationship and will not get with someone like that. This statement comes usually within minutes of that person telling me she wants to be a slave. I see incredible irony in the two statements.
Here is a clue: it matters little what you think. This sounds harsh but welcome to M/s. If you submit to another, your life is in his control. He is the one who makes the decisions. Those who believe they have a say in the dynamics of the relationship are sadly mistaken. The only one to decide if the relationship is poly or not is the Master. Read that again. The only one to decide if the relationship is poly or not is the Master. A slave, simply by her very position, has no say in who else is involved in the relationship.
It is important to know what one's place is before entering into the lifestyle. Few choose to do this. They believe some bullshit passed along by someone telling how wonderful her Master is in a chat room. Of course, this person lives 3 times zones away from her Master and never met him. Yet, she feels qualified to reveal all she "knows" as actual fact. The truth is this person is totally clueless and warrants no attention to her words. This is one who is living a fantasy. Cinderella is in full swing with Prince Charming.
Those who live real time tell a different story. M/s relationships, like all, are difficult. Life is still life. However, we live in an environment where the exchange of power is absolute. It is all with the Master. If he decides that another will be brought in, that is his choice. This is true even if he mentioned that he wasnt poly when you first met. Things change over time and a slave needs to prepare herself for that change. Another catching a Master's eye is commonplace. Be prepared to suddenly have a sister.
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1 year ago
3 comments:
I often wonder about this when I meet new "slaves." When I ask if they would be ok with their Master having additional play partners they are fine, but they will often draw the line at poly. I don't quite understand why play partners are ok, but not a poly relationship?
I also notice that they want to demand certain rights. In my opinion M/s does not allow for this at all. You are what you are...a slave. If your Master wants 10 slaves He can have them, it is His right to do so.
Now, I am in a D/s relationship/marriage, so I may be way off base in my knowledge since I have never been a slave to anyone. But, I do know that most people new to the lifestyle do not understand the difference between slaves and submissives, and so they only think they want to be a slave. I believe that if my husband were to want me to be his slave I would need more time to decide if I was ready for that step (and it's been 7 years). Would it be wise then for people who are newer to really take more time to investigate what it is they really want and try being a slave and submissive for one week each to see which they prefer?
Well put Alley. I agree with you 100%. In my book An Owned Life, I break down the difference between a sub and a slave. My experience tells me that few are able to handle the lifestyle as a slave.
As for the idea that a slave has a say in how many others a Master takes on, this is hogwash. Total power exchange dictates that 100% of the choice is with the Master. The same can be said in a D/s relationship for those areas where it is agreed that control will be exerted. However, as you know, a sub retains a great deal more rights than a slave.
I feel your appraisal of the situation is on the mark. I only wish more new people had the understanding that you have.
As a slave who lives an online D/s relationship, i strongely belive some exist as Ours does. One that is filled with honesty, and trust. I speak only of what i feel and know Sir but i know it to be a loving relationship where i completely surrender to my Master. I know online D/s is filled with liars and fakes. It takes lots of hard work and trust for one to work, but it can work, I know.
Thank you for sharing Your blog with us. As a very new member of the D/s community, i enjoy reading a Doms perspective of the lifestyle.
~briseis~
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