January 17, 2010

Contrarian View

A contrarian view is one that goes against what is commonly thought as to the truth. We see this cited most often in the field of investing. Contrarians are those who invest from a viewpoint that goes against the common belief of which way the market is moving. Many times they are the big winners because they divorce themselves from the blind euphoria that many get caught in.

The BDSM world has many of the same viewpoints. Society tells us what is "normal" and what we must do to be happy. It lays out a path for us which is destined to bring about a life beyond our dreams (so we are told). However, many of us find that the facts that were presented to us were incorrect. After following their dogmas and tenets, we find ourselves alone, divorced, depressed, and broke in all facets of the word. The path that we were sold on turned into a lemon.

BDSM offers us another way of life. Even though it has moved from the deep underground because of the Internet, it is still considered an "alternative lifestyle". We are still different from the norm. Therefore, society, and it members, have a way of using terminology and insults to categorize us. This is done in an effort to degrade and demean. Their barbs are hurled as if they were factual.

The most basic tenet of this lifestyle is the exchange of power. For a BDSM relationship to be successful, there needs to be a person who is submissive. This is one of the ideas which goes against mainstream society. To it, submissiveness is a sign of weakness. This is where the contrarian view enters. One who is submissive is not weak but, rather, following an internal calling that is ingrained with him or her. To me, this is strength over weakness. People who are willing to look at themselves and follow their natural desires are stronger than the average person. Most fail to do this.

Many alternative philosophies warn about having the "herd mentality". Those who blindly follow what they are told are those who end up slaves. BDSM is all about freedom. Even though bondage is a central technique we employ, we value freedom above all else. A slave is freer than the norm because of the simple fact that he or she decided to follow his or her own path. In my opinion, those who are blindly following the dogma that was established for them is weakness. These are the true slaves.

BDSM is a complicated and diverse lifestyle. There are many layers which are to be explored. The limits exist only in your mind. This is a path that allows you to go as far as you would like. Of course, it does not appear to be such at first glance. Trust me when I tell you that what appears on the surface is not necessarily so. Further research will be required. There are many areas where a contrarian view of the facts is more accurate.

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