What Do You Want?

This is a simple question. But, how many actually take the time to decide the answer to this? Judging by the average person walking the streets, I would say that very few. Most people drift through life without firmly deciding exactly what is wanted. Sure, one has some dreams, wants, and desires. However, those are usually cast aside in the name of being 'responsible'. In the end most are nothing more than drifters.

Clarity

The mind is a powerful mechanism that can achieve great things when unleashed. However, before that can occur, clarity is required. Our minds operate so much better when we know where we are trying to get to. Creativity and imagination are just two of the components that help us solve problems and achieve the ends that we are seeking. Of course, I need to emphasize again that one needs to know what is sought.

While this is another example of a life overview philosophy, this concept applies to the BDSM lifestyle. Few enter this life with a definitive purpose of what he or she is after. This is natural since so much about this genre is so different from the mainstream. There is a learning curve that exists before one is truly able to decide where he or she 'fits'. I believe one can spend months just researching all the different facets of the live; just learning what exists out there. My belief is that it is always best to take some time getting acclimated with it all.

I cannot tell you how many people I met who came into this life stating that he or she is a 'slave'. While there are many who know the truth immediately, I found that most are surprised at the extreme nature of that particular aspect of the lifestyle. They felt that simply because they were submissive meant that they were suited for a 24/7 tpe relationship. Sadly, after further research which usually entailed getting emotionally involved with another person, the facts were learned. A great deal of pain could have been avoided if the person would have taken the time to research. Alas, the internet age moves at warp speed and one needs to be 'owned' within a week.

Internal Search

The most important search is the search within oneself. Every aspect of this life is available to anyone who seeks it. However, I will say that not all aspects will hold appeal to everyone. There are certain fetishes or genres that hold absolutely no interest for me. While they provide enjoyment for others, they simply do nothing for me. Now, how do I know that? Because I engaged in the exercise of seeking my true wishes and desires within me.

Delving within is never an easy process. Yet, it is one of the most yielding activities one can take. Few ever sit down and do this exercise before entering into a new situation. I often wonder how different most people's approach would be if they did this when entering the BDSM world. You would be surprised how rare it is to see someone come onto a BDSM community website and state that he or she is there to learn. I would say less than 5% of the new people ever make this point. Instead, they conclude they are looking for a slave or Master right off the bat.

My suggestion is to step back and look within. What do you want? This is something only you can answer. Research the different avenues within the BDSM community that there are to pursue. This will assist in your clarity by either disregarding or implementing what you uncover. It is an exercise which can add major dividends to you.

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