October 13, 2010

Other Focused

The mindset of a slave is so important. It is probably the most crucial aspect that separates one who is able to live in a M/s relationship versus those who cannot. Many enter the life believing that they can life in a TPE situation only to realize that it is not as easy as they anticipate.

Societal Beliefs

Society promotes the idea of personal power and self-centered focus. We have encountered the 'me' generation. Society is a group of people looking after their own self interest while not concerning themselves with the plight of others. The mind is trained to think of oneself first.

We see this mindset taken to the point that people do not even concern themselves with the lives of their own children. It is not uncommon for children to be left unattended while the parents does drugs or has sex. Periodically, we witness the tragic results of this outlook. Look out for number 1. It is deeply rooted in us.

Where does this leave a slave? In my opinion, to be successful as a slave, one must adopt a mindset that is exactly opposite what society teaches. Anyone who follows the dogma laid out by our culture surely will fail as a slave. Societal beliefs fundamentally oppose the idea of a TPE relationship.

Other Focused

A slave needs to default to the mindset of being 'other focused'. This entails considering someone else before oneself. Many will state how easy this is but it is not. Anyone who ever tried it knows it goes against every fiber of our cultured being. Service in general is looked down upon by the masses. We arrogantly believe that we are better than those who are paid to wait on us. This is just another built-in prejudice that one needs to overcome if he/she is going to succeed as a slave.

Putting the needs of another before oneself can be learned. I have witnessed many who embrace this outlook over time. While it is impossible to be 100% effective in this, there are many who ultimately live this way most of the time. Always considering the needs and desires of the Master is what should direct the life of a slave. Daily work at adopting this mindset is crucial.

One thing that every dominant person should include in his/her training is the idea of ego deflation. There are many ways to accomplish this task and a variety of methods is the best approach. Over the years, I have removed the name that a slave identifies with her traditional role. This is something that we are given at birth which has a great deal of our identity wrapped in it. Have a slave called something else is helpful is having her identify with the new 'her' (him). Another method is to make him/her do things that are way out of the ordinary. For example, most humans are accustomed to using the toilet. If a Master removes this from the regular routine, instead requiring elimination outside the house, we once again see the identity of the ego deflated. One will begin to see that he or she is not there for oneself but for the satisfaction of the Master.

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