"Property cannot own property"
I make this statement on a regular basis. To me, it is part of the fundamental core that is our lifestyle. Anyone who is opting for a TPE style relationship is entering into something that is pretty absolute. There are many who proclaim themselves to be able to live in this structure but I found that few truly can. It is not an easy path to choose.
That being said, anyone who wants to live as a 'slave' needs to fully comprehend what that means. When one is owned, he or she has nothing except for what is given by the Master/Mistress. At the same time, anything that person receives is also by right the property of the Master/Mistress. One is not able to own anything for him or herself. The term 'mine' (or my) is eliminated from this person's vocabulary.
In the end, one is dominated financially just like he or she is in every other aspect of life. My slave is my property thus I own all of her. All resources that she had in life became mine when she joined me on this journey. In my view, that is simply how things work in this aspect of the lifestyle.
While many state they are slaves while lacking the makeup to actually live that way, I will state that it is minor as compared to those who claim to be dominant. There are so many who believe their domination is affirmed simply because they capitalize their name on a website. This is not domination nor does it qualify one to be dominant. True domination is the following of an internal desire that is coupled with knowledge and experience. It is garnered over time as one learns the internals workings of the mind. Domination is as much mental as it is anything else.
So, what does this all mean? Quite simply, if one (submissive) is expecting to live as a slave, he or she must be certain of the person one is interacting with. This seems like common sense but, remember, few really have any idea of the person they are chatting with. Most put up a good front. The reality of the online community is that the largest percentage of people are not involved in real time relationships. At best, they are engaged in online role playing; at worst, outright deception. This creates a precarious situation if one is seeking to be 'financially dominated'. Absolute certainty is crucial if you are going to take the next step.
As you can guess, I feel that most are just putting con jobs on other people. At this point, I am going to pick on the 'Dommes' since they are the one who I think play the greatest con game. Also, I am going make some blanket statements about society that you may or may not agree with. However, there is still a biased that I can see which equates to some of this unenviable behavior.
What is a 'financial domme'? I see this advertised all over the place. What the hell is someone who is only willing to dominate in one area? To me the terms 'gold digger' is more accurate. Whenever I see this advert, I know that person is not real. This is one of the grandest con jobs in the BDSM community. And what is sad is that people enter into these relationships believing they will be dominated. The truth is that the Domme is only seeking to clean one out.
I feel for the male submissives. They have the hardest road in my opinion since there are basically the gold diggers and the Pro-Dommes for them to deal with. Few women are into the full fledged domination. That makes their path that much more difficult. We live in a male dominated society which holds the belief that men much be strong while women weak. Also, because of the career prospects, the earning power of a male exceeds that of a female in most instances. This leaves a male vulnerable to the games that are played in this regard.
How To Combat It All
This goes out to all, not just the male submissives. The best way to combat this is to truly know who you are dealing with. An online relationship is vastly different than real time. Anyone who experienced both knows the difference. The online world is suspect for the simple reason that anyone can create a persona online. You only have the words that are written on a screen to go by. Nothing else, in the online world, is verifiable. That is the primary reason why I continually state that anyone engaged online must implement the traditional methods of communication as soon as possible. These methods help to verify what was already stated.
Knowing the person you are dealing with not only entails verifying their address or state located. One must also be sure he or she is a dominant worthy of your submission. What I mean is that the person is capable of providing one with what he or she needs. A slave who only turns over his/her paycheck is living an unfulfilled life. Every slave that I met wants to be dominated completely. That is why a 'financial domme' is nothing more than a golddigger. This person is not providing anything to the slave. A relationship is a two-way street with each person giving and receiving. A person of this makeup is just taking.
To end this thought, I will state that trust takes time to build. Therefore, it is unrealistic to expect a person in a new relationship to cede all over to the Master/Mistress immediately. It is only after the dominant proves his/her abilities that one will feel comfortable in doing so. The trust factor allows a relationship to travel deeper and deeper. Handing over a paycheck of monies received from a job is one thing. To turn over the proceeds from the sale of a house is an entirely different matter. In these instances, I think one needs to use common sense and realize what is at stake. Until you are certain, and in person, that you are dealing with someone real, I would be hesitant in my approach. And, please avoid anyone simply proclaiming to be a 'financial domme'.
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