March 1, 2010

Poly Lifestyle

Poly simply means more than one. This is the basic definition that so many refer to when talking about lifestyle choices. However, what does it mean when one says that he or she is "poly"? This is a loaded question that requires some further explanation.

To start, there is a difference between being poly in the sense of relationship and having play mates. Threesome fit the basic poly definition yet, as you will see, fails further scrutiny.

Polygamy is probably to most well known form of poly lifestyle. Made famous in the U.S. by the Mormons, this means means multiple marriages. Polygamists claim the right to have more than one spouse and living within multiple families. Obviously, there is a commitment level that extends past just the sexual. This is a lifestyle that is lifelong according to their beliefs.

Polysexual is another facet of poly that is used to describe one who has more than one sexual partner. Again, we are not referring to the weekend threesome or gangbang. Polysexual means that are involved sexually with more than one person at the same time (without referring to group sex). Just think of it as meaningful sex with a couple people that you see on a regular basis.

Polyamorous is the latest in the poly family. This means that one is emotionally involved with more than one person at a time. Most times, this involves expressing those feelings sexually. Under this lifestyle, there is that thing called "love". In other words, there is a deeper emotional connection with each person. Time is spent developing the each relationship towards a further end.

So which aspect is best? That is entirely up to the individuals. Like most lifestyle choices, the door is wide open. Many within the BDSM community are also poly. However, there is a major difference between being polyamorous and swinging. Swingers are into sexual play. A true poly is into having a relationship with the other people. This is where it seems to be agreed the difference comes in. One is based upon sex, the other emotions. Even polysexuals seek to have a bit deeper meaning to each of their sexual relations.

I term myself "poly" since I refuse to live a life where I am restricted to just one relationship. At the same time, I am also a swinger because I will periodically partake a swinger's party. Both are lifestyle choices that I am involved in but they are two separate genres. Just because one swings, that does not make him or her poly. As you can see, a bit more is contained other than just getting it on with a couple different people.

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