Freedom is at the Core

To me, BDSM means freedom. This might seem strange in a lifestyle that has bondage and slavery as components to it. However, this particular way of life, for those who choose it, is freedom. It is a conscious choice that someone made to live life a particular way. That is what freedom is all about.

I write often about the social conditioning that we are all subject to. Starting at an early age, we are all programmed how to think about certain thinks. In the Western culture, we are taught that a 'relationship' should be made up of a man and a woman who are loyal to each other. Sex is sacred meaning that it is shared only between those who are in 'love'. Anything outside these bounds is considered immoral.

We hear this dogma taught everywhere we turn. Those who learn the lesson well will go through life believing these ideas are the path to happiness. Now, in the quest to be fair, this is the proper path for many. However, my belief is that the freedom is achieved as a result of the choice as opposed to the end result.

BDSM is all about freedom. In fact, the case can be made that any alternative lifestyle is an exercise in freedom. Anything that goes against the norm typically requires a conscious choice. It takes courage in many instances since ridicule and being ostracized is often the result. Nevertheless, one who consciously chooses is freeing his or her mind from the prevailing conditioning.

Few ever look at their belief system. Instead, they blindly obey whatever is served up to them. To me, this is insanity. The simple fact is that there is no way one particular model of living will be successful for everyone. In fact, I could argue that the present 'normal' model doesn't work for the majority with a divorce rate approaching 60%. In the end, we are all responsible for choosing what works for us.

Freedom is something I hold true. I desperately seek this in all areas of my life. Being contained in any manner is repulsive to me. Sadly, this is the state that I believe many live in without realizing it. Freedom is a lot more than works written on some old document. It is having the courage to choose my life however I see fit. Obviously, there are many who I might clash with. That is okay. People have the choice of accepting me and the options I select or removing themselves from my life. Many choose the later. Being true to myself is sometimes a rough road to navigate.

BDSM offers the options that I sought out for so many years. Because it is such a wide and versatile way of life, there is something appealing for most people. One can opt for the light end of things such as spankings, bondage, and other sexual activities or a person can select the more extreme like M/s or full body suspension. Whatever someone's taste, we have a flavor for you. Your responsibility lies in determining your own preferences. The choice is yours but you are the one who must exercise it.

If you truly believe that you want freedom in your life, I would suggest that you begin by looking at the ideas that you 'default?' to in your mind. What is your idea of an ideal relationship? How is it structured? What does it look like? Begin to look outside the norm of society. Your happiness might just be found on the fringe. I know mine was.

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