March 26, 2010

24/7 TPE Slave

Is this really possible? Can someone actually live in servitude and bondage (figuratively) 24 hours a day 7 days a week? Yes, I do believe this is possible. However, it takes a special person to make this successful. The circumstances must also be ideal.

Financial Security

Considering the plight of the world the last couple of years, this is something that is becoming rarer with each passing day. It appears the majority of society in most developed countries are suffering financial woes of some kind. There is terrible uncertainty. Businesses are closing; employment is precarious; people are losing their homes. This is the reality that we are confronted with.

Why do I bring this point up? To start, I feel for one to have that round-the-clock lifestyle, one must find a Master in a financial position to support the both of them. This offers the freedom of complete service to that one person. A slave could then spend his or her day doing whatever the Master so chose. To me, this is true 24/7.

However, as mentioned, few of us fit into that category. Where does this leave us? We all know that employment is often required by a slave to assist in making ends meet. Thus, she is performing service to his or her Master since it is that person's benefit that is at stake. However, I don't feel this is complete 24/7 since a slave is under someone else's control.

Many seem to miss this fact of reality. I see this all the time with the online people. They make blanket statements about complete control and domination. That is achievable if you are in a position to financially maintain the relationship. However, if you expect him or her to work, that person's employer is in control. It is naive to think that you will be able to assert your influence while he or she is working. During those hours, you own nothing in effect. Someone else is calling the shots. Again, this is just reality.

What Is Ownership

Does this mean only the financially well-off are able to achieve a 24/7 M/s relationship? The answer is "no". It is possible for any of us to live this way if we so choose. It only requires some understanding of what it means to "own".

To illustrate this point, I will use marriage as an example. When a couple is married, are they married only when they are together with each other? Of course not. Even when they are separated, people are still united in matrimony. In addition, even in those situations where they choose to live an open lifestyle, they are still in wedlock while with others. The marriage doesn't cease simply because of physical or sexual separation.

Another example, is your automobile. Is this something that you still own even when you loan it to a friend. Again, the answer is "yes". The title does not change simply because someone borrowed it from you. You are still responsible for having it insured and, depending on what happens, could be liable for damages. However, even though you own it, you are not in control when someone else is using it. He or she is calling the shots.

Owning a slave is the same. One's ownership does not end simply because that person goes to work. When my slave sets foot into her place of business, I am still her owner. However, during her work hours, I have no say whatsoever about what she does. The control exerted over her belongs to the person who manages her. It is not me. Nevertheless, she is just as owned as when she is at home performing tasks for me.

The Beneficiary

In the end, I am the one who benefits. It was my choice to send her to work and the option of having her quit remains with me. Of course, as a responsible Master, if I select this route, I need to accept the consequences. Too often people want to blame another for a choice he or she made. Being a Master entails assuming personal responsibility for what happens.

There is a saying in the BDSM community that property cannot own property. What this means is that true slave cannot own anything. This is the line that separates those who honestly live this lifestyle as opposed to a deeper form of role play. A true slave will have nothing of his or her own. Everything that person has is granted by the Master with the understanding it can be taken at anytime.

Getting back to the work environment, wages are paid in return for the efforts made. In this, I am the beneficiary of my slave's work. All wages paid, even though they come in her name, belong to me. She is working to offer financial support which makes my life easier. And, ultimately, that is what a slave is suppose to do.

Few Truly Can Do It

Of late, I come across many articles spelling out the dangers of entering this lifestyle with the fairytale, romantic ideas in one's mind. Too many seem to buy into the nirvana of M/s that is espoused online. The reality of this lifestyle is far more difficult. I see so many who state they are slaves yet fail to meet the standard when viewed through the extreme nature of this lifestyle.

Are you willing to give up everything you have? Do you like the idea of having nothing except what your Master gives you? Many will say yes until they realize how big a concept this is. What if your Master told you to throw out that high school yearbook? Or the family album with all your picture? How would you like him or her to take all your physical assets? What if he or she told you that custody of your children needed to go to the ex? Could you handle all these? My belief is that most cannot.

Now, I am not claiming that all Masters will go to these lengths. I am simply mentioning what is possible. For example, I personally never get/got involved with the children of anyone I owned. I believe they are not my area of responsibility. That area of a slave's life is off limits to me by choice. Those children have a father and it is not me. This is how I handle things. However, not all will take that approach.

Of course, I feel obligated to mention, since common sense seems to be in low supply, one must know who he or she is dealing with before moving to this stage. Many will claim that they have no problem being a slave and giving it all over. After chatting with a guy (or girl) for a couple of weeks, it is not a good idea to liquidate your 401K. Use some sense when approaching this life.

Total Power Exchange (TPE)

This will create some controversy, but M/s entails a total exchange of power. Everything I wrote about thus far today exhibits this point. All assets, decisions, and property is with the Master. A slave has nothing other than what is decided for him or her. Again, few seem capable of going to this length.

Does that mean everyone does? Certainly not. There are many who use variations on this idea with great success. People are free to establish their relationships however they see fit. For some reason, new people seem to feel that not achieving a full fledged M/s relationship means they are failures. It appears that people believe in a hierarchy with M/s ranking higher than D/s. This is not so. One is not better than the other, they are simply different. D/s allows a sub more say in what transpires in her life. The exchange of power is limited.

Those who live a 24/7 M/s relationship choose to engage in that total power exchange. They feel that surrendering completely is the path for them. It is crucial that one is aware of all that can transpire by making this choice. There are times when it is a difficult road to travel for both parties. However, for those designed for this particular way of life, there is no place that feels more natural.

So, if you are questioning the validity of living as a 24/7 slave, take comfort in knowing that it is possible. There are many who are doing this as we speak. However, finding the right situation might take some time. Be patient on your search. The right person will show up at the appropriate time.

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Anonymous said...

How is it possible to be in a 24\7 TPE relationship with a women with children and not be involved with her children? Would she have to give up custody?

Dennis Najee on March 28, 2010 at 4:21 PM said...

This is subject to negotiation before submission. Most do not have a problem interacting with children, similar to what is done in any vanilla relationship. However, that is not to say that Master would not be obtuse enough to demand that. It is something that everyone should have in the back of their minds.

As for me, I choose not to act as the children's father. A slave is free to choose as she sees fit with the rearing of her kids. That is not my business in my opinion.

If the situation of children should be a hindrance, then one could simply choose to live as a sub which means that only those areas that he or she turns over to a Master/Mistress are open to ownership. The rest, such as the children, are off limits.

Anonymous said...

If your Master tells you to surrender custody of your children to your ex without a d*mn good reason (and I can only think of very extreme examples) I would seriously suggest that slave question whether or not she was in a healthy and safe relationship. If the Master tells his slave to not work and isn't prepared for the consequences (not only of being ultimately responsible for both individual and joint financial needs but also if something were to happen to him and the slave now needs to work but has been out of the workforce for a decade and has no recent experience I'd seriously question his ability to make logical choices and whether or not he should own a slave to begin with. The same with being told to throw away life momentos. (If I have a doll filled with mold that I am sentimental over but refuse to get rid of - his choice to make me , relinquish it makes sense, even if I may not like it. If he's simply doing it as an exercise to prove his manly dominance, that's a master who is not in control of himself.

I am a slave, and I firmly believe there are areas where a Master should tread lightly (not to say that he doesn't have control, but whether or not he should exercise it - it should really be in the best interests of the slave and not just what the master wants): spirituality/religion, children (especially those from another relationship), family, employability/career, and health. I read something that I believe applies well to M/s relationships. The master should make decisions based on this evaluation, and in this order: what's best for his slave, what's best for them both, and finally what is best for him.

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Unknown on September 6, 2017 at 4:25 AM said...

Thanks for the input especially from the doms perspective. I appreciate your lack of ego while talking about an inherently ego driven subject. I assume you rightfully and with grace save the ego for your sub. I appreciate the further understanding of full time relationships. I am 27 and while I am not happy to admit this I recently hurt someone (emotionally not physically... not better probably worse but an important disniction non the less) because of my ignorance. I broke my first rule which was to never leave anything ambiguous. It was easy enough in play, we would negotiate terms and boundaries and proceeded to have a wonderful time togeather. While there was lots of love between me and my parter the play seemed to seep into the rest of our lives naturally. The deeper connection made it so great and the levels of trust were amazing on both ends. The problem I believe was we never really broke it down. We both knew the natural progression was happening and both wanted it but never really made clear rules and boundaries. This was my fault as a dom. She did her part which was to submit fully even though I never asked this of her. Unfortunately, I did not take the time or care to truly understand what she was doing and how to best " serve her" as a dom. She trusted but with out clear guidelines she became confused and was unsure of her place not knowing if her subbision was just in vain or the truth that it was a gift I would have cherished to the ends of the earth if I had only known how. I was unsure of how or even if I should take complete control and now I am glad I did not as I was not ready to be the dom she deserves. All this to say I won't ever make that mistake again and with the help of your experience and words I will bring as little harm as possible to the ones I love especially while practicing dynamics that leave subs so vulnerable. I know this is a long message but I am with a new sub now. She is a bit younger than me but has a really great head on her shoulders and is really mature for her age. I am wondering if you have much experience with temporary 24/7 lifestyle? I would imagine it would differ from your experience in that as much as I would love and might still have her around for the long term, given her age, 20, I want to provide her with domination even in the 24/7 realm but also reconize that she has a lot of life to live and want the best for her if she is not with me. As such I wouldn't have her quit school or her job which would not directly benefit me as her dom (job would as her assets would be mine) but I would still control her life. How would you balence the need to control your slave and the need for her to feel controlled while furthering her life and career with the knowledge that you want her to be successful with out you there if she chooses or changes what she wants down the line without making her feel like you are not committing fully to owning her. Again I feel now that with conversation and guidelines I can be a proper dom for her 24/7 but I don't know if she really knows yet in her life it that's the only thing she wants to be. She says yes now but I want to keep her options open. Sorry for the super long post

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