March 16, 2010

Worthy By Showing Respect

I am going to write this post from the dominant perspective. Please bear in mind, much of what I state here can be equally applied to a Dom/Master. This is not a one-sided idea that only pertains to the submissive one.

Do you show respect? This is a question that is only answered by looking at ones actions. Sadly, my only conclusion is that most do not have respect. Instead, they pay lip service to an idea because they feel it proper. Telling me you respect me and acting in accordance to that ideal are two entirely different matters. Those who bridge the two are those worthy of being owned.

I come across so many who are absolutely pathetic. There is no other way to describe them. They are miserable failures in every manner. Just knowing these people are in public makes my skin crawl. To me, they are not worth even giving the time of day. In short, they add nothing to life.

Does this sound harsh? Absolutely. But this is a matter that I feel very strongly about. The BDSM lifestyle is fabricated in its online presentation. There is little that happens in the imagery on the web that has to do with BDSM. Pictures of whips and chains are nice; however they do little to tell the real story of what a BDSM relationship is all about.


A relationship is an interaction between two people. It is that simple. The feelings that we have in a particular relationship is what distinguishes it from other. BDSM is no different. We have deep emotional connections to some (such as a Master or slave) while feeling less for others (someone we just play with occasionally). Obviously, those who make the commitment by choosing a life such as M/s are willing to experience and work through the different feelings that comes with that type of interaction.

That being said, part of the deal is to position oneself so as to make the other person proud. While this might sound a bit superficial, there is a methodology which will show how deep this can go. The actions one takes is what reveals his or her true feelings towards another. Of course, this can often be predicated upon the actions the other person took. Everything we do has consequences. It is important to remember this fact. Monitoring our behaviors help to create positive results.

What We Can Change

In my book Sexual Motivation, I mentioned that there were 4 things that a person needed to focus upon to make oneself more attractive sexually which are also the same criteria that society judges success. Focusing our efforts on these four areas creates a new motivation and success record that will improve anyone's life. One area that I mentioned was the physical makeup of a person. This is one area that we have the ability to change.

That being said, being involved in a BDSM relationship, or more specifically, a M/s relationship, entails showing respect for one's Master. This means one will need to alter behavior so as to act in an appropriate manner. In other words, a slave needs to focus upon doing those things that will make her Master proud. Acting to the contrary tells me that she lacks the respect for not only him, but herself.

Munches can be a lot of fun for those who are into that type of thing. However, since they are in public settings, are you behaving in a way that shows the proper respect for your Master? From the actions that I have witnessed over the years, I will say that is a negative. Many simply behave pathetically when in the presence of others.

How we act in circumstances is something that we can control. While factors such as height and eye color are outside our realm of influence, what we say and do in front of others is not. Focusing on behaving in a respectful manner is of extreme importance. It is the actions that show how you feel a lot more than the words that you utter.

More Than Sir

Many believe that simple calling one Master or Sir is being respectful. That is not respect, that is indoctrination. The military does it all the time. Calling someone a particular title means that you can remember to utter something in a particular way. In this regard, at least you are equal to a parrot. However, this fails to show any respect whatsoever. Hell, all the online fakes sit there spewing "Sir" all day. They have no respect for the people they are chatting with. In fact, many of them are getting their rocks off thinking how absurd it all is. Therefore, the word Sir means nothing.

What shows respect? To answer this, I will tell you to look at the total package from outside of yourself. Simply, how do you think others will view you in different settings? Once you see that, is that is something that a Dom or Master will be proud of? Or, are you an embarrassment of the highest degree? While it might be difficult, I would urge you to be honest. Your relationship is riding upon this very thing.

A slave who has respect for her Master will do everything in her power to ensure that her "presentation" in front of others is in top form. She will dress appropriately. Her body will be cleaned and well maintained. Her every intention is to have him be able to tell anyone "she is mine".

I am reminded of a story one told me about a couple of women she worked with who got into a fist fight in the office. These young twenty-somethings behaved like a bunch of street thugs. Now, this might be a reflection of me getting old, but that is not behavior that I would be proud to have my "girl" engaging in. To me, this is an outright embarrassment to anyone remotely involved with these women.

The same idea holds true for this way of life. When one is behaving in a juvenile fashion, especially in front of others who are in this lifestyle, she is a reflection on her Master. Some might think her immaturity funny; then again, some might not. If I am one sitting there watching, I will think less of that Master because of the behavior of his slave. The same is true if she is dressed like a slob with messy hair and looks (smells) like she hasn't bathed in a month. This all reflects upon the Master in my opinion. A slave needs to take extreme caution to ensure her "presentation" is the best.

*As stated, this idea holds equally true for the dominant person also. So many think that being dominant entitles them to act like total assholes. That is not being dominant, that is being an asshole. There is a major difference. Someone acting like the later will not garner respect from anyone. Certainly, this will not come from a slave who is worth a damn. Those who have healthy self-confidence will not want to associate with a jerk. It is possible to be dominant and respectful at the same time.

Click here for your version of An Owned Life.

Click here Be sure to check out our new FREE social networking site An Owned Life Community.


cassie on March 17, 2010 at 3:08 AM said...

Dear Mr. Najee,

Master has a public function. He, and therefore i, is often in the news. i often wonder, how many people realize that the woman standing behind Him, sometimes carrying His bag, always smartly dressed in black, hair shiny and braided, hasn't been allowed to visit the hairdresser for over a year? that she has chosen to live a "different" life? That the man standing (or sitting) in front of her has total control over her and does the most unusual things with (to) her whenever He feels like it?

i don't think many people do. And i take great pride in the fact that everything i do for Him and all He does for (to) me, is done with respect.


Dennis Najee on March 19, 2010 at 5:26 PM said...


you epitomize what I believe one is suppose to do for the One that is submitted to. Taking pride in your actions and service it what I feel a subservient one is to do. This is a person that is often overlooked but plays an important role in the life of a Master.

I commend you on your service and sense your Master is blessed by your choice in this life.

Thank you for visiting and please share more of your ideas with me.

Blogger on October 22, 2017 at 11:31 PM said...

FIND OUT How You Can Master Your Habits And Reprogram The Subconscious Mind To Get Any Result You Want In Your Personal Growth and Fulfillment!

Introducing... Procrastinating Your Procrastination!


A Master’s Viewpoint Of The BDSM World Blak Magik is Designed by productive dreams for smashing magazine Bloggerized by Blogger Template © 2009