Being True

"To thy own self be true"

This is one of Shakespeare's most famous line. It is echoed in many corners of society by anyone who is willing to indulged in personal development. This is also something that I feel is really important if one is to be happy in the BDSM way of life.

One who enters BDSM must do so for the right reasons. At the same time, I feel it extremely crucial that one commit to the lifestyle before getting involved with any one person. The reason for this is because many will exit the lifestyle when the relationship with a particular individual goes bad. This is same as abandoning heterosexuality simply because a marriage ends. Simply because a particular relationship fails to work out does not mean that one is not cut out for this way of life.

Even today, I still find myself in situations where the temptation to be swayed is great. This is where knowing myself and the path that I have chosen comes in. When I am true to myself, I am able to make those decisions that are right for me. Difficult decisions are never easy but they do avoid many headaches down the road. This is especially true where emotions are involved.

BDSM is a multi-faceted lifestyle. One needs to understand what it is that he or she is interested in. Just because someone decides that domination or submission is for them, that does not mean that person knows where he or she is best suited. This takes time and searching. Those who fail to do this end up frustrated and hurt. In the end, their impatience and unwillingness to do the personal work caused the results.

Being true to yourself involved committing to the lifestyle while determining what is best for you. There is a great temptation to live as something we are not. Some of suited to be slaves; others Doms; and others switches. Regardless, it is up to each of us to find exactly what works best for us.

The bottom line is always the personal happiness of an individual. Trying to mold yourself into something that you are not will never work. Some are interested in BDSM only to find out they are better suited for the traditional arena. At the same time, many of us found that we were not cut out for the vanilla world and BDSM is better for us. Knowing oneself is imperative to reach these conclusions.

My experience is that no matter how long one or committed one is to the lifestyle, there will always be forces that will try to draw us away. I have personally experienced this a number of times. There might be family who wants us to lead a different life. Or it might be that person we meet who has an interest in us. Or, perhaps we are swayed by something we read stimulates the romanticizing in our minds. Whatever the reason, we need to determine what our truth is. Only then can we make a decision that is consistent with ourselves.

Sometimes we are confronted with the idea of having to be committed to this "come hell or high water". Nobody ever said it would be easy.

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