Love and BDSM

This is one of those subjects that causes great confusion among people entering the lifestyle. Where does love come into play in a BDSM relationship? Does it exist when there are multiple others involved whether it be poly or a multi-sub (slave)situation? Each of these answers provides insight into the type of person one is dealing with.

Like most of this lifestyle, there is no clear cut answer that fits all conditions. BDSM relationships are wide and varied. That is one of the amazing aspects of this way of life: people have the freedom to structure relationships however they see fit. Unlike traditional which promotes only one basic concept, BDSM offers every variation imaginable.

That being said, the emotions involved vary among the different individuals. There are people who are involved in a BDSM relationship that models the traditional in the makeup of the interaction. They might be married or committed to each other in a monogamous way. Any interaction with others is often just "play" with all emotions reserved for themselves.

Others opt for a poly route where there are different relationships operating simultaneously. In this, there might be a "hub" relationships with the Dom/Master that extends to the others involved. Again, love might be part of the equation or it might not be. It is up to those involved as to what it looks like.

Often a BDSM relationship will have a loving component without the romantic angle. Many are seeking the "Prince Charming" idea. I am certain there are many who fulfill that ideal. However, there are also those who are emotionally devoid of the romantic love. They are not into BDSM for the traditional emotional makeup. Instead, they seek something different.

Does that mean there is not a "love" among a Master and slave. Certainly, especially in a long-term relationship, there is a strong bond that is formed. Is it love? Perhaps it is and, then again, maybe it is not. The individuals involved determine what they experience.

Another aspect that pertains to love is the possibility that it is one-sided. Many slaves have fallen for their Masters only to find the emotions are not reciprocated. While there are probably a thousand reasons why this is so, the fact remains that it is dangerous for one to have preconceived expectations about what he or she will receive. There is no guarantee that what you offer will be given back to you.

The bottom line is that there are many BDSM relationships that contain love as a basic component. However, there are also many instances where this is absent from the relationship. Not everyone has the same approach or ideas about this way of life. When seeking out someone to give yourself to, be sure they are after the same things. Those who try to get more than is available in a particular relationship find they are disappointed.

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