February 22, 2010

Being True To Your One

Many talk about living in this lifestyle and being obedient to their Doms/Masters. Sadly, for many, this is all talk. It seems, judging by the chat on different sites, that reality is something completely different. This idea is in keeping with my other observation that few are truly cut out to be in this way of life.

M/s is an extreme part of the BDSM world. It is not suited for everyone. Unfortunately, many seem to think they are ideal for this since there is the desire to "submit" to another. This is a fallacy. M/s requires a submission that is beyond the comprehension of most people.

To be successful in this way of life, one must be true to her(his) Master(Mistress). This means the submissive individual is willing to completely ignore his/her desires for the sake of the one that was submitted to. Again, many will claim this but encounter difficulty when faced with it in real time. Reality rarely reflects the online fantasy.

The online world has a way of glorifying the BDSM lifestyle. Based upon the images conveyed, many believe that BDSM is nothing more than a 24/7 sexfest with complete service to one's Master. There is the belief that life suddenly will be fulfilled with one as the total focus of Master. Again, this is a scene played out daily online. However, reality plays a different tune.

For starters, few are in a financial position to dedicate exclusive focus upon a slave. People need to earn a living and that requires a grand amount of our time. Plus, it usually is the slave who is responsible for complete focus on the Master, not the other way around. He is the one who owns her. It was she who submitted to him.

Being true to your one means maintaining that focus without exception. What is it that a slave wants? Ideally, she will want her Master to be happy. Anything that enhances his happiness is what she should desire. Of course, there are times when this might go against her personal wishes. Masters can be temperamental beings. We desire many different things and chose a life where we can fulfill those wishes. A slave who thinks it is her place to deny that to him is mistaken in her role. She exists in the relationship to enhance, not take away from.

An example is when a Master wants to take another on. This could be either temporary or permanent (relax few things in life are permanent). The bottom line is that he has an interest in being/playing with another. That is his choice as a Master. A slave's place is to be supportive of his decisions regardless of what that means to her. Naturally, it most often reduces the focus on her with the other person garnering it. This is a difficult proposition to handle.

A slave who is true to her Master understands the parameters of the lifestyle and what "total power exchange" means. She is not in control. In the aforementioned example, I have seen many who want to dictate the terms of his choice. Again, this shows how one is not really into giving complete control away. She is trying to manipulate the situation to please her. This is not being supportive in my opinion.

All terms and parameters are established by the Master. That is the nature of the M/s lifestyle. Of course, this is a rather rigid way to live. That is why it is at the extreme end of the BDSM scale. Many are better suited for the D/s way of life. This allows them the freedom associated with submitting while maintaining control in those areas that he or she wishes. Being true to your one means being able to following all mandates regardless of your personal desires. From my observations online, this is something only a select few can ever hope to accomplish.

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BlueEyes69 on February 22, 2010 at 7:23 PM said...

Thank you for this very meaning definition. I'm learning, as you say, that I am the one who is focusing on Jay, but I am also seeing His tremendous focus on me, which I think is the foundation of a wonderful M/s relationship. Please continue to keep us informed.


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