February 13, 2010

Telling Your Troubles To Others

Have you ever noticed how there are some people on different websites who just have to tell you all the issues that are going on in their lives? This is something that personally drives me nuts and these are people I try to avoid.

Psychology calls these people "emotional vampires". They are the ones who will suck the energy right out of you. No matter what is going on, they always have to turn the conversation to them. Sometimes they don't even offer the courtesy of pretending to be concerned about you.

I had an instant the other day where I was hit by one of these people right off the bat. My first question to her was "how are you". The immediate response I got back was "shitty". Now I know this individual is dealing with a few issues in her life at this moment. However, it still was not something that I wanted to get into. This is a girl who I have known for 7 years and the answer is always the same. Her life is hell no matter what is going on. And the worst part about it, is that she feels the need to share it with everyone. For this reason, I always have kept my interaction with her to a minimum.

This tendency is something I see among many within the BDSM community. While I am not sure whether it is any worse in BDSM as compared to the traditional world, I certainly see it as a problem. In fact, if you look at many of the BDSM blogs, they are nothing more than "bitchfests". Little knowledge or experience is imparted. Instead, it is a forum where attention is drawn to garner sympathy. It is sad.

Of course, with blogs, one always has the choice whether to read it or not. This isnt the case with chatrooms. This is another area where they vampires turn the entire conversation to the ills in their life.

The truth is that most people do not care. I am not saying this to be mean but it is just reality. While I will listen with some compassion to the break up of a neighbor's relationship, I honestly am not too interested in her dilemmas. I have my own life to lead.

Problems within our BDSM relationship(s) is something we all face. Difficulties are a part of life. People need to accept that. BDSM is not an easy road to travel. There are an assortment of hardships that arise which are foreign to the traditional model. We all have issues that are unique to our situation. Burdening everyone else with your misery will not improve your situation. It will only show your emotional inablility to deal with your life issues.

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