May 13, 2010

M/s: Role Playing

Many seem to feel that the Master/slave (M/s) relationship is nothing more than role playing between two people. The logic is that it must be this way since slavery is illegal in most developed nations. Anything that is consensual mandates that one has choice. Therefore, the participants are simply taking on roles.

Describe Yourself

I challenge you to sit down and write out on a piece of paper nouns that describe you. Many will put down things such as mother, father, son, sister, employee, friend, neighbor, etc... We all have a variety of shoes we fill depending upon our present circumstances. Some of these nouns are applicable throughout our lives while others are only temporary.

The point I am making is each of these is a role that we fill. Whenever we say we are a "son", we are saying this is a role I occupy. But let me ask you, what happens when your parents die? Do you still fulfill this role? The answer is you do not. Upon their passing, you no longer are a son. The same thing can be said for marriage. You are a husband or wife until death or divorce do you part. Then, in the case of divorce, you fill the role of ex-husband or ex-wife.

As you can see, the roles can change based upon the circumstances. Nobody is "married" to a role forever. Last week, a guy I know retired. A few weeks back, and for the previous 40 years, he was an employee. Now he join the ranks of the "retired". The role he fulfills each morning is drastically different than he working role. He moved into a new situation.

Online M/s

When discussing M/s, I must distinguish between online and real time. I am going to make the case that online M/s is nothing more than a form of role playing. That is because, from my observations, most of them are not real. People are simply behaving like characters in a play. They literally fill the role of Master or slave. In fact, some take on both roles depending upon who they are interacting with.

As I stated in a number of my other posts, the Internet is a wonderful tool to meet people and to start the process of "training" one as to what is expected. However, too many seem to think that online is the relationship. Those who entered real time seem to have an alternative point of view. They feel that the only true relationship is one in which people interact face-to-face.

At the core of the M/s relationship is service. Whenever I encounter one who speaks of the validity of an online M/s relationship, I simply ask what service an online slave can provide. My slave cooks, shops, cleans, runs errands, and performs sexual acts all as a part of her service to me. I fail to see how any of this can ever be done online. In fact, I conclude the main interaction of online M/s relationships is sex. It seems having another cam upon request is what many feel is domination. It is not. Yet these people ardently argue they are in a true M/s relationship.

Thus, I conclude one is playing Master and slave when online. Please bear in mind I am excluding those who are truly intending on taking the online into real time. To me, these people are simply transitioning into the lifestyle. Oftentimes, there are factors that must be dealt with before one can move to another. The people that are living online are the ones that I target as role players.

Real Time

What about real time M/s relationships? Once again, I need to make a distinction. There are many who are in real time who are playing roles. They wear this lifestyle like others wear a pair of shoes. They can take it or leave it. Many enter with the intention of getting an easy score with someone who will fulfill their fantasies. Again, we get the sex-based outlook. Service is rarely mentioned outside the bedroom. These people fulfill the roles when the hormones are hopping.

The other group is those who truly are committed to living in a M/s relationship. These are the ones who are true to the calling and make a decision to live their lives a certain way. They enter into relationship consensually with agreements in place. The breakdown of power is established based upon agreed protocols which the two participants decide. Most, if not all, opt for the total power exchange which means the Master has control and domination over all of the slave's life. This is something that is agreed upon when entering the relationship. Therefore, consent needs to be given before moving forward.

This is where many allude to the role playing. How can something that is voluntary and consensual be anything more than role playing? My answer is how is the role of husband real if one volunteers and consents to it? The same can be said for being an employee. Aren't I just filling a role when I am at work? Don't a play a part in a larger organization before moving on at the end of the day where I go home and fill another role?

Therefore, a M/s "role" is no different than any other aspect of life. We all play multiple roles simultaneously and Master or slave is simply another one. There are certain acts we perform to fulfill the expectations that are placed upon us. It is that simple.

What Makes The Difference

So what makes the difference between someone who is simply role playing and actually living the M/s lifestyle? I would say it is the commitment one has. Those who live this way of life truly adhere to the mandates established by choosing this relationship structure. It is not a game to them. They know what they are seeking and live accordingly.

We see the opposite mentality taking hold in the traditional arena with the commonality of divorce. Many do not take marriage seriously anymore. To them it is something that is entered into until the fancy passes. At that time, divorce takes place and it is on to the next one. How can anyone who is married 5, 6 or 7 times claim to be serious about it? At the same time, arent they just playing a role? Being a husband works until it is time to move on. Then that role is shed like an old T-shirt. The level of commitment is minimal at best.

Contrast this with those I previously mentioned who consciously decided to live the M/s way of life. This is something that required some thought. Since it is not commonplace within society, people usually have some degree of research associated before entering into a relationship of this type. Also, because of all the ones playing games, it takes a great deal of effort to sift through the trash to find someone meaningful. As you can see, just getting into a M/s relationship is a difficult task.

Those who go through the trouble to find someone who is true to this lifestyle while being that way themselves are not role playing in the general sense. Certainly, this is a role just like the ones mentioned in the opening paragraph. However, the idea that somehow M/s is less real because it is role playing is inaccurate. M/s is just every bit as viable a lifestyle choice as marriage is in the traditional world. In fact, since there are so many obstacles to overcome, it might be even more so. Those who live 24/7 real time with all the ups and downs associated with a M/s relationship know that there is no role playing. It is the real deal.

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Alujna on May 13, 2010 at 12:36 PM said...

I agree with the part that internet while playing a part in meeting your M or s is not a whole relationship. In fact it is hardly one. You can be friends from online but i doubt you can be M/s.
First it requires trust, which i feel can be achieved only in real life.
Though i myself have not had a real life experience, i know this is true. When the time is right i will definetely meet the person before i can so much as say he is my Master .

Lilli on May 13, 2010 at 1:42 PM said...

Absolutely, i agree.
i cant understand how an online M/s couple can say it is a real 24/7 relationship. How can it be?
I have talked to lots of people online, and made 'friends' with a few of them, but only as much as you can be friends with someone you will never meet, and that's the point: how can you ever be sure of the validity of someone's identity or intentions if the only contact you have with them is when your pc is switched on?(!)
I think online M/s relationships can only ever really be seen as either a prelude to the real thing or 2 people acting out some of (2-dimensional screen permitting) their fantasies on cam.
The only other exception i can take seriously is online mentoring: A Dom can mentor a sub and give her lots of good advice and even a taste of what to expect, but this is nothing like the reality of a 24/7 lifestyle and if he is a good Dom he will remind her of that...often.

The pc can be switched off at any time by the simple click of a button!

~L. x

Alfred Ricketts on August 16, 2014 at 11:40 PM said...

I completely agree with everything you have said in this post. These days it is so hard to fi d someone who actually wants to live this sort of lifestyle.
I hope one day I'm lucky enough to find my lower half!

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