May 26, 2010

For The Dabblers

I write a great deal about M/s and some of the more extreme facets of this lifestyle. I do this in an effort to clear up a lot of misconceptions that exist out there. However, unlike many, I believe this lifestyle is open to a wide range of people. There are so many various facets that people can choose to be involved with. Therefore, I am going to expand the focus today to all those who are interested in some things that are less extreme.

There Is No Right Way

I see this occur in the M/s realm but it equally applies to all areas. Many seem to think there is a write way to approach BDSM. My feeling is the only wrong approach is to attempt to be something that you are not. As long as you are being true to yourself, whatever you decide is perfectly acceptable. Too many feel that they must be something different. Subs want to be slaves because they believe a slave is better. This is only true if one is capable of being a slave. If he or she is not, then a sub is the better alternative.

Many feel they need to delve into BDSM all the way. That is another fallacy that is espoused by the internet. There is nothing wrong with someone dabbling in this way of life. I surmise the largest percentage of people only engage in minor BDSM activities. In fact, most do not consider themselves a part of the BDSM world. Nevertheless, you will see that many vanilla people actually partake to a degree.

There are hundreds of thousands of couples who like to add some spice to their sex lives. I believe most experimented with the lighter side of things a few times. Is there anyone out there who hasnt spanked or been spanked during a sexual interlude. Along the same lines, how many people tied their partner up during sex? Again, I conclude that most people tried these things at least once.


For many this is an accurate statement. Simply put, they want more out of sex. As mentioned, this is an acceptable approach if this is what a person is seeking. Having "kinky sex" is a worthwhile approach to BDSM. Many of us who are into this a lot deeper enjoy that aspect of things. However, the issue arises when people think that sex is all there is to BDSM. But for those just seeking this, it is a wonderful way to liven things up in the bedroom.

Role playing is another form that many participate in yet fail to consider that it is a form of BDSM. Many will play roles such as cop/prisoner, truck driver/ hitchhiker, etc... These roles contain domination and submissive qualities to them. The couple is engaging in a power exchange during their "scene". Few will consider it this but it is what they are actually participating in. We see the kink factor increased by implementing some BDSM.

Room For Everyone

Whatever your flavor is, there is room enough for everyone. Many seem to believe that this way of life is only for those who want to be "lifestylers". That is a misconception. People are free to shape their relationships however they see fit. If a little extra kink is what they are after, how can anyone else judge that? There is no "one size fits all " plan. Each person is free to explore any aspect of this life that interests them.

One final thought: almost everyone starts off their experience with BDSM by dabbling. Most people start off in the vanilla world then add a bit of kink. Upon further exploration, they delve into some of the deeper aspects of domination and submission. The point is that ignoring the dabblers might mean we are missing some of the future Masters and slaves. One never knows the extent one will go to until actually experiencing some aspects of this life. The more the merrier in my opinion.

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