May 10, 2010

1950s Type Lifestyle

Many seek out the 1950s type lifestyle where the woman was a stay at home person who tended to all the household chores. The generational makeup at that time was a male dominated culture with women having little say in what transpired. Many look at this as a form of slavery and this appeals to many in the M/s world.

My Grandparents

My grandfather was a President for a toy company for many years. During his tenure at that position, he was responsible for traveling throughout the eastern part of the country on business. This was in a time when one did not hop the shuttle from NY to Philadelphia. Instead, the common form of travel was the train. As you can imagine, my grandfather was away from home for weeks at a time. Many families endured a similar life in this era.

This meant my grandmother was the one in charge at home. There were five children which include what today is termed a special needs child and one who qualified as a juvenile delinquent in any generation. Certainly, my grandmother had her hands full. The strength it took to raise 5 children under these circumstances was not easy. Until her death, my grandmother was a very strong woman.

Before going any further, we need to remember the generation that we are dealing with. Men were the heads of the household and women were consider inferior. Women stayed home to raise children while men were the sole breadwinners. All financial and "businesslike" decisions were made by the males. And, like Leave it to Beaver, children were sent to their rooms until "your father gets home". The men were the ultimate disciplinarians within this family model.

To say that women in this generation were weak is a misstatement. My grandmother is a prime example. She had the strength to deal with the household in the absence of her husband. While gone, she made all the decisions. Of course, she stepped aside when my grandfather returned from his trips.

Leave It To Beaver M/s

For many, this mindset sounds like a wonderful way to live the M/s lifestyle. However, before relating it to this way of life, I need to clarify one other thing about my grandparents.

As mentioned, my grandmother willingly stepped aside when my grandfather returned. She was also one to allow him to run at the mouth and never embarrassed him in front of others. Basically, my grandmother was the ideal wife in an era were subservience was valued. Nevertheless, I will not state that my grandfather was in charge. There were a few times when I witnessed him run off a bit too much at the mouth and she cut him off. She wasnt rude or demonstrative. Instead, she simply stated "that is enough" and my grandfather knew to shut his trap. In the end, the subservient one actually retained the power.

Of course, this is where a M/s relationship differs greatly. Everything about the 1950s lifestyle could be applied. It is possible for one to be controlled in all aspects where her only focus is on household duties. Anything outside that realm is the responsibility of the Master. However, I must point out that in a M/s relationship, all power resides in his hands. Unlike my grandmother, a slave does not have the right to say "that is enough". Her subservience is complete.

Different Era

The "homemaker" form of slavery seems to be popular these days-at least in the minds of many who are seeking a Master. However, I find that it is a fairly unrealistic expectation for one simple reason: most lack the resources to live this particular way. It is no secret that most Western families require two incomes to make ends meet. This is a truth that extends back over 20 years. It is a quarter century since we saw the ability for families to survive on one income.

What does this mean? This tells me that most will provide service to a Master in the form of earning a paycheck. Now, many want to dispute the validity of this type of arrangement. Get real. If a Master tells a slave to get a job, that is fulfilling his wishes. My slave maintains a full-time job which she earns a paycheck that is handed over to me. Her efforts are going to benefit me. It allows me to maintain a particular lifestyle for my household which I prefer. Her service is not lessened in any way because of it.

Those who are seeking to be a 1950s "housewife" ought to look at the reality of the world today. My grandfather was able to support his family on only one income. So was Ward Cleaver. And Ricky Ricardo. Yet, we find the economic reality of the world altered to the point were people depend upon the two checks. Unless our seeking slave is lucky enough to find a Master with a good financial balance sheet, I feel she ought to be prepared to work.

Which brings me to the next point: even if he is financially well off, a Master might still require a slave to work. Extra income always comes in handy no matter what the financial makeup is. In my situation, my standard of living was established before my present slave arrived. However, her income makes my life that much easier. Now I have the ability to invest in things that were not possible before. I still cover the bills-her earnings are extra. In the long run, this will net a tremendous payoff for me.

Romantic Pipedreams

The idea of living as some of the matrons of the 1950s is a wonderful dream but I caution about the reality of it. It is perfectly acceptable for one to seek this situation out. However, as we know, in a TPE relationship, there are no guarantees. A Master might decide that he wants the arrangement a different way. For that reason, a slave cannot marry herself to a single idea. There are many times when a Master will alter one aspect of the relationship. Being flexible is one of the traits that a slave needs to have if she is to survive in M/s.

In many instances, I feel people are engaging in romantic pipedreams when searching this relationship makeup. Once again, many are distancing themselves from reality. While it might come true for a few, I believe the vast majority are going to be disappointed. Like many things online, it is easy to promise something but a lot tougher to deliver. The reality for many will be vastly different then they imagine.

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Anonymous said...

I wonder, sir, if modifications on such a role make it possible.Is any PURE lifestyle possible? For instance, if a Master/Mistress were to beat a slave in public they would go to jail or at the least be troubled by the law r well meaning overly controlling neighbors.Yet in traditional historical Master/slave relationships it was 100% all the time (history shows this). So does that make the lifestyle any less "true"?

I am honestly not being snotty or an upstart but Im hoping this will allow others to be able to make the choice to live their lifestyle at heart, more so than in the dress they wear or the restraints they have around their wrist.

We can't make 1940-1950-1960 reappear, but we can take their virtues and put them into our lives. Many women worked in those days also :) My grandmothers did as did my aunts.I work in a traditionally female job (Im an office manager=secretary)

The bottom line is, he is the boss. What he says is the bottom line. I take care of the traditional household issues and he takes the reigns. I give him comfort, love,and submission.He even asks for my opinion many times (he says Im a rare female, I think logically---lol) The difference in the 1950's timeline is it is my heart-bound duty--not a societal one.

I love your blog and am grateful to have found it. Thank you for sharing and leading.

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