December 21, 2009

Mindset of a submissive Part II

In the first post on this topic (found here), I mentioned some of the traits that were necessary to have the proper mindset to succeed as a submissive. The reason I bring this up is because there are many who feel they are capable to living this lifestyle, only to realize they are constantly at odds with the one they submit to.

Basically, a submissive is turning complete control over to the dominant person. Obviously, there is a difference in degrees when discussing subs versus slaves. For the sake of this post, I will take things from the slave perspective since that is at the more extreme end. The depth of the commitment requires a much different outlook than submitting for a scene.

To continue, a slave must be strong. Many think this is an oxymoron but it is in fact a basis for M/s success. If a slave is weak, she (he) will ultimately end up as a drain on the Master (Mistress). Instead of enhancing the life of that person, she becomes a liability. Strength is the ability to weather all decisions and prevail regardless of the conditions. The M/s life is not an easy one. Those who do not have the mental makeup should consider shaping their relationships in a different manner.

Selflessness is another trait that is imperative for success as a slave in M/s. Many think they can be selfless but. in reality, are consistently putting themselves front and center. It is extremely difficult to put one's wishes and desires aside in favor of a dominant. Nevertheless, this is exactly what the lifestyle entails. We live under the umbrella of a total exchange of power. Self serving aspirations will cause difficulty since I have witness the manipulation that can occur when present. There are many times when a slave is not given what he or she desires. It is crucial to remember that it is not about you.

Another aspect that is rarely mentioned but vital is complete and unabridged honesty. This quality is obviously a part of all successful relationships regardless of the lifestyle. However, I feel that it is taken to a higher level in M/s. Trust in a slave is of utmost importance. A relationship is tested when a Master loses faith in a slave. The easiest way to do this is to be caught in a lie. Dishonesty is the quickest way for one to question the sincerity and intentions of a slave. Whenever one does this, I take it to mean that his or her desires are more important. This strikes at the foundation of M/s.

The final trait I will mention in this post is the ability to exert silence. There are times when to speak up and times to shut up. A prime example is when other people are around. I witnessed too many slaves disrespect their Masters but voicing objections in front of others. This is not a slave's place. A slave needs to know when to close her mouth and accept (one of the qualities mentioned in the first post) the decision of the Master. If you do not like how you are being treated, then, if the forum was provided, voice objections in private. Nothing irritates a Master more than being questioned by a slave in front of others. It is embarrassing and intolerable.

Take these qualities and compare them to your own mindset. Do you still think you have what it takes to be a successful slave. If so, wonderful. However, if you feel that it is too much for you, there is nothing wrong with living as a sub. Remember, M/s is not better than D/s or vice versa. They simply are two different forms within this lifestyle. Your role is to find which best suits you.

Click here for your version of An Owned Life.



A Master’s Viewpoint Of The BDSM World Blak Magik is Designed by productive dreams for smashing magazine Bloggerized by Blogger Template © 2009