Forging Your Own Life

Society has a way of "brainwashing" us into determining what we need to believe. It establishes what is considered normal, thus creating what is also not normal. We find this in every aspect of life. The truth is, our lives are here to be created as we see fit.

The BDSM lifestyle is considered an "alternative" approach. This simply means that it is not mainstream. However, I feel that more people practice BDSM then do not. While I will grant most are not into total power exchange, the majority experiment with spanking, tying each other up, and other sex games. This all is a form of BDSM. Therefore, what society promotes is not necessarily the truth.

Forging your own life involves breaking free from the conditioning that is so powerful within our different cultures. We are taught from a young age to believe certain things that "they" feel is in our best interest. Sadly, it often is not. Having the courage to shed the "herd mentality" is difficult. Yet, the rewards are well worth it. It is only by actively looking at all our beliefs that we can call ourselves "free".

Why do I bring all of this up? It is simple. Many new people question what they encounter when they approach the BDSM lifestyle. Depending upon what facet they are looking at, they feel that there is something wrong with what is going on inside them. This is evidence of the conditioning. Here is where having the courage to shed the old ideas is imperative.

Society promotes equality. It is a myth that is used to gain control over the masses (I will not delve into this debate at this time but it is something I studied a great deal). BDSM promotes inequality. The exchange of power is fundamental in every relationship that exists. BDSM strays from the norm that exists out there.

BDSM, like most alternative lifestyles, exists within the confines of society while forging it's own path. The same is true for its members. We are everyday people who you encounter on the street. The difference is how we choose to structure our personal lives.

Having a successful BDSM life (or any other life for that matter) requires shedding the ideas that society implements. It is something that many rational adults engage upon. Reflection is a helpful practice. I found that it allows me to identify those areas in which society places me in "bondage". My values tell me that I need to remove those chains whenever I can.

Forging your life starts with your mind. The BDSM mindset is very different from that of mainstream society. Adopting the proper mental outlook will enhance your chances of success in this way of life.

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