December 20, 2009

The Extreme

Many are scared off by this side of the lifestyle. There are many I come across who emphatically state they do not want to be abused. To me, this is common sense. I do not know of anyone with any degree of self esteem who wants to be abused. Most people want to be treated with a certain amount of respect while maintaining their dignity.

Just because someone is submissive does not mean that he or she is worthless or meant to be abused. Many of the images online are there simply to arise interest. The extreme always holds wonder which is helpful when trying to promote a product or service (for a not so extreme but an honest look at the BDSM lifestyle get a copy of An Owned Life here). This extent of the lifestyle is just not for most people in reality.

Nevertheless, there are some that I meet who are designed precisely for the extreme. Quite simply, they want it all. There is no limit that they are not willing to test. Living life as a slave is an ideal condition for these people. Also, their scenes tend to be something that resembles the videos we see online. Their threshold of pain in high which allows for some intense interaction. People like this are rare but they do exist. Pleasing them by going extreme is just as crucial as the inverse when dealing with someone who is hesitant about going to that degree.

This always brings up an interesting situation when looking at compatibility. While there are many submissive types who are turned off by the extreme, the same is true for dominants. I have come across more than one person who lacks the "stomach" for the intense scene play that some require. This is nothing a fact that should not be overlooked. People need to play upon their natural desires. Certainly some are better suited for M/s when others are ideal for D/s. At the same time, some need to experiment with light BDSM whereas others are complete pain sluts. Micromanaging is required for a percentage and broad goals for the rest. There is a flavor which can suit everyone as long as one is willing to look.

The extreme is not something that should be shied away from if that is what you determine is your calling. There are many who are completely unsuited for any type of normal traditional life. At the same time, those same people find BDSM wanting unless they can experience the more hardcore lifestyle. This is completely acceptable. The only obstacle is finding someone who can handle the extreme along with you. Regardless of dominant or submissive, some are excited by it while others are not. Simply continue your search until you find what you are looking for.

Personally, I highly respect those who are willing to accept that they want no limits. This idea of doing many strange and, what others consider, gross things is to be applauded. I believe that BDSM can hold something for everyone. Those who want to go further out on the spectrum should be encouraged without judgment. This lifestyle is all about freedom and happiness. I enjoy the freedom to be me and hope others find the same.

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