Lessons From A Swinger

Many of us are involved in a variety of different lifestyles. BDSM is just one of them. We are nudists, swingers, transvestites, gay, goth, and a variety of other things that run counter to the norms of society. For this reason, we have a plethora of resources and experiences to draw upon.

Recently, I learned the lesson of how a certain way of life is not for everyone. Some simply cannot adapt to a certain lifestyle. In those instances it is best for one to move on to something else. Sadly, few can do this until they endure a great deal of pain. Typically, pain is a persons greatest motivator.

Many people think they are cut out to be swingers. It is not uncommon to see a couple enter into that lifestyle with the idea of having sex with many different people. They are like children in the proverbial candy shop. He is thinking of all the pussy he will get while she is imagining all the cocks she can ride. Of course, they overlook the fact that emotions are involved.

Oftentimes, it is the guy who awakens up to reality. While he was focusing on the pussy, he didnt realize that another (other) cocks would be filling his wife. This hits many men in the self confidence arena. Somehow he feels he will be judged. Or, that green giant, envy, hits him like a brick. Suddenly, a wild lifestyle turned into a jealous outrage. He just doesnt like the idea of his wife with other men.

Recently, I witnessed this situation. Fortunately, he was "man enough" to admit that he could not handle the lifestyle. It was a valuable lesson. Both him and his wife were extremely nice people who would be fun to interact with. Nevertheless, many simply are not cut out for that way of life.

The same is true for BDSM. This fact is multiplied the further out one goes on the extreme scale. For example, there are many who can handle a D/s lifestyle yet fall apart at the notion of M/s. It is just to much for most. The same is true for a BDSM scene. Many can handle light bondage/paddling. However, only a certain few are classified as pain sluts.

I believe self honesty is an important trait to develop. This gentleman had it in his life. He determined swinging was not for him (have no idea what the wife thought about it). We need to apply this same mindset to our life in BDSM. What are you suited for?

Remember, there is no shame in trying something and admitting it isn't for you.

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