July 23, 2009

Detecting Pretenders

Online is full of people who claim to be something they are not. This is no truer than in the M/s lifestyle. Travel through some of the different chat rooms and you will encounter numerous Masters and slaves. The sad truth, based upon my experiences, the vast percentage of them are fakes. They are playing games while the spouse is upstairs sleeping. Therefore, I put together a few tidbits that might help one to determine who is real.

1. Presume they are fake:

The greatest percentage are. Approach all with hesitation. Take what they say with a grain of salt (it isnt worth more than that). Make that person prove to you that he or she knows what is being talked about. Check anything they say with other reliable sources. Information off different websites as in the input of on here. Regardless, make sure what that person is saying is true about the lifestyle.

2. Get the information:

If you are interested in getting involved with someone, make sure you get his or her personal information. Would you accept a proposal for marriage without having that person's home phone number or address? Obviously not. They why would you consider submitting to someone without this same information?

I hear that a slave has no right to ask for this information. Horseshit. She does so. If someone is unwilling to provide it then tell him or her to go fly a kite. Or give that person my email and I will tell them what I think. Most fakes hate to encounter someone who lives the life in real time.

3. Use common sense:

Common sense will go a long way to saving you heartache and assache. We all gain interpersonal skills as we age. All the relationships we have from the time we are toddlers teach us how to interact with others. Thus, we gain some intuition as to what is sensible and what is not. Do not think that because you entered the world of M/s that you suddenly entered the twilight zone. The same rules apply to this as any other relationship. The main difference is the breakdown of power. That is it. Everything else comes down to basic interpersonal skills.

4. Move to human interaction:

Online is an effective way to start interacting with people. However, without human contact that person is just characters on a screen. They are not real. Virtual communication is devoid of human contact. It is only through the other mediums that we can truly get to know someone else.

I always move from online to phone communication. This personalizes the interaction. Hearing a voice allows you to hear what that person is feeling. Also, you can crossreference some of what you were told. If he said he is not married and has no children yet you hear an infant screaming in the background, you have cause to question. Of course, you cannot garner this information by just chatting.

The best way to interact is face-to-face. Try to push for in person meeting. I had slaves fly down to me and spend a week. They were able to see for themselves that I was real. Even though I believe their visit was sexually motivated, it was a real time interaction that is not possible without being in the zip code.

5. Ask for references:

What is this a job interview? No but it as equally important. You want to know his or her experience. When it comes to dominating someone, experience is crucial. There are so many ways to phsycially, mentally, and psychologically harm another, that taking another's life in your hands is a big responsibility. Giving this power to a know-nothing type is not to your benefit. You want to know who he or she dealt with in the past. Get a name and a number and simply find out if this person is for real or not.

6. Go slow:

The M/s relationship is a relationship. All relationships take time and this is no different. Just because someone says that you have to move at a certain speed because he or she is in control of you, that is not necessarily so. A true Master takes the time to learn the limits that a slave has. It is only then that he or she can properly assist in that person's growth.

These are just a few ideas that might help you when dealing with people online. Be careful with who you interact with. I have no idea their credentials. Do you?

Click here for your version of An Owned Life.


J's Curious Alley on July 24, 2009 at 2:57 PM said...

May I be so bold as to add one small thing. Just because you are a slave/sub does not mean you MUST submit to all dominants/masters. I have seen plenty of pain caused by this. Dominance is based on trust, and sometimes it takes a while to earn this completely. Please if you are new, do not submit because someone says you must...this simply isn't so.

This post is great advice, I think everyone should use it.

Spanking Photo Blog on July 27, 2009 at 7:54 PM said...

Hi, i like this blog. I have a spanking blog to. I wonder if you like exchange links betwen our blogs. Let me know

best regards


A Master’s Viewpoint Of The BDSM World Blak Magik is Designed by productive dreams for smashing magazine Bloggerized by Blogger Template © 2009