July 16, 2009

Would You Buy A House...

from someone you met in a chatroom? To further complicate matters, would you do it sight unseen with no human contact with that person whatsoever? This idea seems absurd when one thinks about it for a short while. However, are the decisions people make each day about online romance/lifestyles any different? Aren't they doing exactly the same thing in effect?

Why wouldn't you buy a house under the aforementioned circumstances? What would most concern you? Obviously the notion of getting ripped off would cross your mind. The fear that the person is less than truthful is prevalent. The roof leaking, the neighborhood, and the square footage are all areas of importance. Regardless of what one is told, it is impossible to know if it is being accurately represented.

Online interactions of a personal nature carry the same connotation. How do you know the package is being accurately represented? I could say I am in Nevada while living in Chicago. My height of 6'1", 195 pounds of muscle turns out to be 5'7" 225 pounds of flab. The pictures I showed you are really my brother-in-law. And I really work at 7-11 instead of being a brain surgeon. Of course, it is easy for me to create the image that I want you to see. Without human interaction, it is doubtful you will be able to call me on it.

I see this occur in the BDSM world frequently. People seem to lack common sense when approaching this lifestyle. The gullibility is astounding. Some will take whatever another says as it is fact. Sadly, it rarely is. My belief is that 90% of the online interactions are bullshit. At least one party is lying. There are some online who are completely honest and upfront. That is the minority. Chatrooms are full of people who are trying to "get their rocks off" by pretending to be something they are not. This extends to all styles of chat, regardless of the lifestyle.

My message today is to be careful and do not get too caught up with the one that you are chatting with. That person most likely will turn out to be less than he/she professes. I hate to be the one to burst your bubble but better now than later. Eventually the truth will come out. Look for signs that tell you this person is lying. Does he/she only contact you at certain times which seem odd? (For example, he is only on after 11:00 at night when you know he ends work at 5:00) Is there resistance to move the relationship offline into a real live interaction? These simple acts should be warnings that something is amiss.

If you are protective of your money from swindlers, why wouldn't you have the same approach with matters of your heart? The situation is especially compounded when you consider that children are also involved. Why would you subject them to something that is built upon fantasy? Many like online because it gives them the anonymity to create a persona as they desire. Unfortunately, this usually causes heartache and misery to the one on the other end.

Please be careful.

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