July 5, 2009

Using Common Sense

It is sad to see how much different people approach this lifestyle as compared to other areas of their life. Seemingly intelligent people make choices which they would not under normal circumstances. For whatever reason, they believe there is something vastly different when entering the BDSM world.

The bottom line is that all relationships are just that, relationships. Interpersonal skills that are applicable to other areas of life are valid here also. Even though the dynamics are on another level, this is where common sense comes into play. We are still dealing with people regardless of the power structure.

I see so many "fall" for someone only to be devastated when things do not work out. This is really true online. Yesterday I wrote a post about the misleading that can occur online. I am always stunned how people take what they see to be real. The truth is it often is not.

Anyone can be a "Master" or a "slave" online. All that is needed is the ability to write it in a chatroom. A little reading will provide O/one with the foundation to offer some credible evidence. Of course, the entire process is easier when the person being dealt with is new. He or she is open to be taken advantage of. This person will believe most anything since the entire life is new.

This is where common sense comes into play. I typically ask people if this something they would tolerate in the vanilla world. For example, I often hear how a Master cannot provide an address or phone number to a slave. The claim is that it is His place to contact her. At this point I say the odds are she is chatting with a fake. He is hiding something. Would you believe this line if it were your fiance in a traditional relationship? How many people have no idea where their fiance lives or his/her phone number? Yet we see slaves who are willing to move to Him in spite of this. Naturally, when the time never comes to move, there is devastation.

My next question is what was really lost? I am told that "my Master is now gone". Wrong. You lost a name on a screen. The Internet allows for the creation of whatever the mind can conceive. If you want to be a Master, bingo. You are now a Master. If you want to be an engineer at Nasa, simply learn a few scientific lines and fill out a profile saying Kennedy Space Center. Just because one says it does not make it so.

Common sense will go a long way to avoiding headache, heartache, and assache. This is especially true if you have kids that are involved. Your decisions will also affect them. You want to be sure the choices made are based in reality, not fantasy. Too often there are jerks who are living out their fantasies online while the spouse is upstairs sleeping. If there are warning signs that something is amiss, it usually is. Many who claim to be single are really married. It is too easy to lie.

Remember this the next time you are in a chatroom and striking up a "relationship" with another. Be sure to push to move it to some type of human interaction. A phone call, a lunch, or an address go a long way to validating that person.

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