September 1, 2008

Don’t Expect Them To Understand

As we mentioned repeatedly, the world of BDSM is varied and diverse. There are many avenues for one to pursue. However, whatever your choice might be, do not expect others outside the lifestyle to understand. There are certain things pertaining to this way of life that are beyond comprehension by those who are not involved. Part of this stems from the inability to articulate why we do some of the things that we do.

This misunderstanding can also occur within the lifestyle. There are so many facets that it gets difficult to comprehend some of what others do. For me, I still cannot grasp the concept of submission. I am a Dom so this is to be expected. Theoretically, I get the inner need to serve another. Yet the feeling obviously eludes me. The same can occur when a sub/slave encounters a “pain slut”. One who enjoys pain is foreign to those who do not. It is a stark difference within the lifestyle.

I had the experience of trying to explain to one outside this way of life why a slave does what she does. The end result was that this woman did not understand. Fortunately, I did not expect her to . I knew that this was something that was beyond her grasp. Her viewpoint matches that held by 99% of the women out there. However, the 1% (Or whatever the percentage is) who are slaves understand completely.

I wrote in past it is often best to not mention one’s choice of entering into BDSM. Sadly, it is something that is still misunderstood. This is especially true for anyone who is involved in the M/s aspect of this life. That is the reason why I wrote An Owned Life, in an effort to clear up some misconception. Nevertheless, there is still a stigma that is applied to those who live this way.


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