September 9, 2010

Turning Loss Around

Last night, a well liked member of my bdsm social site unexpectedly passed away. Like is so often the case, her passing was way too soon leaving so many dreams unfulfilled. Of course, her loved ones are left to pick up the pieces and move forward. It is a tough time for many who knew and liked her.

Whenever I encounter a situation such as this, a time when one is taken from us much too soon, I try to reflect upon what I can learn. What can I take from the situation that I was previously missing.

I often write on here that social conditioning leads us down the road which it wants us to conform to. The general belief system is that one needs to find that "one person" and live a vanilla, monogamous life. With this comes children, careers, and responsibility. Sadly, most find that even with a large degree of success in these areas, happiness is not always the result. Success on the outside does not equate to fulfillment on the inside.

Those of us who entered into this way of life learned to shed the "normal" mindset and opt for something that makes us happy. And that is a major lesson. We are all responsible for choosing the route that leads to our own satisfaction. Living according to another person's philosophy can never lead to long term satisfaction. In the end, when each of us reach the end of our time here, we can either look back with excitement or disappointment. Whatever the outcome, we have nobody to blame but ourselves. Our lives are our own.

Shedding the mindset that we were taught to honor is extremely difficult. Nevertheless, it is crucial for those who seek long term contentment. Many of us found exactly that by opting to live this lifestyle.

Another lesson that I take from this situation is that there is no better time than the present. That sounds so cliche but it is true. Procrastination robs us of so much in life. To often we delay our enjoyment for the sake of others. Again, the truth is that we never know when we will meet our exit. Postponing of happiness often becomes way of life. Society teaches this lesson well. It is up to us to have the strength and dedication to forge our own path.

Death is never an easy thing to encounter especially when someone is close to us. Yet, it is something that we none of us can escape. Death is a reality of life. The fact that none of us know when the end will come leads us to believe that time is unlimited. It is not. Utilize the time you have left to do what fulfills you. In the end, you are the one who is responsible for your own happiness.

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