BDSM Is About Strength
There are many (the unknowing) who believe that submissive types are weak. They think that someone who is in this position is subject to abuse and degradation (in a non-lifestyle way). Of course, what they do not realize is that their outlook actually applies to them more than it does the subs/slaves living in this life.
The truth is that it takes a great deal of strength to live the BDSM way of life. Why do I make this claim? Simple. BDSM is an alternative lifestyle. Anyone who takes the time to look at him or herself is in the minority of society. The majority of people are blindly following the masses down the path to unhappiness. Is it any wonder that half the population is souped up on prescription drugs? People are miserable and they have no idea why. They fail to grasp the fact that society sold them a bill of goods that is not truth. Those of us in this lifestyle know how it works and sought out other alternatives.
Another factor that most miss, especially when it comes to the submissives, is that it takes great strength to go against the grain. The easier tract is to blindly obey those around us. Dogma is a prime example of how people swallow whatever is served without question. The churches and governments throughout history survived because of this. Society also holds itself together indoctrinating the same way. Go to school, get good grades, get a good job, meet the right girl, get married, and live happily ever after is the mantra. How often do we see this work? I say less than half the time judging from the divorce rate.
Again, those of us who opted to pursue this path know the strength it takes to go against the people who are closest to us. Many of us have alienated ourselves from our families by choosing to go in a different direction. It is sad that they are do not accept our choices in life but that is the way it goes. Understanding this fact is necessary. Newer people seem to think that our decision will be welcomed with open arms. It is not. Therefore, a lot of strength is required to stand up to the ostracization that inevitably follows.
Growth is central to a BDSM relationship especially the extreme ones. Many people seem to think that once they get into a relationship that all the 'work' is done. The truth is that it is just getting started. The laws of nature dictate that there is no such thing as stagnation. One is either moving forward or going backwards. There is no standing still. It is impossible in a universe that is evolving and changing every second of the day. We humans are part of the Animal Kingdom, thus are not exempt from this fact.
If you want to be successful in a BDSM relationship, it is crucial that you focus on growth. I witnessed many slaves who got bored with Masters because there was no attention directed upon growth. At the same time, a slave who refuses to partake in those activities which will expand her abilities will lose the interest of a real Master. That is why sex-based relationships tend to get old quickly. Most of the growth occurs outside the bedroom.
The other day I wrote about looking at one's entire life before deciding whether to enter into a BDSM relationship with that person or not. Usually, the way a person lives will tell you many things about him or her. For example, if one's life is a total mess and he or she is dependent upon others for the most basic of necessities, then I believe that person will have a difficult time upholding his or her end of the relationship. This is especially true for those who want to be 'owners' of others. I find it impossible to believe that most people have the ability to take care of another when he or she cannot adequately provide for oneself.
Strength is required to excel in this way of life. We are into an alternative lifestyle which means acceptance of our choices are low. The mainstream judges us completely because they do not understand. This results in treatment that is harsher than many foresaw. Therefore, if you are someone who is weak, it might be best to pursue the path of normalcy. The BDSM life might not be ideally suited for you.
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