August 12, 2010

The Letdown

This post might piss many people off. I am certain the comments will be filled with some people taking exception to what I say. And, I know that my inbox will receive equal treatment. But, for those who honestly want to learn something, here is an observation that I made on numerous occasions.

Reality Versus Fantasy

The online world is not reality. It is that plain and simple. One might attempt to make the case that online mimics reality (and perhaps even with varying degree of success). Nevertheless, the online world is called "virtual" for a reason. A life lived deep in the online world is not grounded in reality.

That being said, I also make the claim that the online community, especially adult or sex-based, engages in a great deal of fantasy. Now bear in mind I am not stating that there is anything wrong with this or what people do with their free time. The point I am making is that there is a "dreamy" component to the online interaction. It allows for a "relationship" to exist between two people which stresses all the positives while negating all the negative.

For example, in online sex play, have you ever heard of a guy suffering from erectile dysfunction? Of course not. Whenever an online scene is played out, he is as hard as a 14 year old in math class looking that the teacher 38DD tits (ah Miss Tucchi, where are you?). Nor do you hear of a guy pulling back as he goes down on her because her pussy smells like it needs to be douched with a garden hose. The only thing that is mentioned is how wonderful the sex will be.

We see this reflected in the online domination and submission. Online, she is an obedient sub. And he is all powerful. He barks out wonderful orders of things for her to do which, of course, she obediently follows. Never is there any questioning of authority. "My Master is the most wonderful in the world and we will be together forever". These are statements we seen thrown around the net.

The Letdown

Here is the real kicker: people who take exception to what I write, if they ever move into real time, experience a huge letdown. Suddenly, he does suffer from ED. Or her pussy does stink. Or he farts while you are blowing him. Or a multitude of other life experiences that we all have which are shielded online.

A dominant operates best when he or she has nothing to worry about. Online, this happens quite often. In fact, many turn to the Internet to get away from the daily problems which affect us all. However, move the relationship into real time interaction and suddenly that sweet, forceful Dom who was always on his game shows some cracks in the armor. Perhaps his confidence is a bit down for the first few weeks after he gets laid off. This affects the interaction with a sub/slave. The same effect is felt when he is dealing with a family situation. Illness and death is part of the course. Few will want to "paddle your ass" while mourning the loss of a loved one. Again, the playful Master disappeared.

These are just a few examples of why I believe there is a huge letdown for many when they move their relationships from online into real time. The fact that both parties were interacting on a "fantasy" basis means that they ignored many of the reality based problems that humans have. All relationships would succeed if we were able to choose the good points while eliminating the negative points. Sadly, this is not a choice we have. Life is still life regardless of how one's chooses to structure a relationship. Having a realistic outlook is the only way to avoid the inevitable letdown that so many experience. Remember this as you move into the real time world.

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Heather B on August 12, 2010 at 11:42 AM said...

Interesting post. I think you're probably right for the most part. But I have to say, that in my experience (although limited) I haven't yet had this problem.

I met my owner online, and we began talking mainly through email or chat, then eventually webcam and telephone. We communicate daily through many different means.

Our first meeting in person went very very well. Perhaps it was because he had a great deal of experience with it all and was able to respond well to my needs. Or perhaps it was because I was as willing (or more willing) to submit to him in person. But it was a great experience. The only letdown was when he had to leave.

I agree that relationships that are strictly online seem to have this fantasy-like feel, I remember feeling that way when I first began speaking with my owner. But as the time went on, and our relationship progressed, it became more "real."

Sorry for rambling so much. I really enjoyed this post, very interesting topic.

Granamyr on August 12, 2010 at 10:36 PM said...

My D/s relationship is entirely online. Personally I find it astounding that you seem to be cheapening my bond to my Master simply because of the way we have to communicate and live our way.

He is in the UK. I'm in the US. We met online and we both feel we are right for each other. Should I have refused his collar simply because he's online? Should he have maybe not extended it to me? Should we both pass up a fantastic opportunity to grow and learn about each other *just* because we don't have the physical, both the positives and negatives?

I don't think so. Offline world is just as filled with people with issues, baggage and unrealistic ideas of what a relationship is as online world. Yes, it's a different type of relationship with it's own things that come up. But it is just as valid and can be very fulfilling to those who choose it.

You seem to know you will get heat for this post. No wonder when you're criticizing something very dear and personal to many, many folks. It's tantamount to saying, "Your faith isn't real." Think what you want...but who are you to judge? *two cents* I wish you peace.

Anonymous said...

You are right on yet again a online slave while they have their own problems won't nessasarly know how it feels to lick the skid marks out of their masters shorts while he's having sex with his latest playtoy


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