August 17, 2010

Get Your Life In Order


This post is going to be primarily directed at the dominate ones out there. While this will apply equally to the submissives, I notice that people are falling down on their responsibilities. For whatever reason, many think that they can enter the life in a matter of minutes. I notice newer people believe that it is easy to dominate another. This is not the case. Taking another life into your hands is something that should not be done lightly. Yet, so many enter this life unprepared to deal with what awaits them.

You Can Not Give What You Do Not Have

If this were a rule, most people would fail it miserably. We would see the number of people involved in this way of life reduced by 85% instantly. For one to be successful in a dominant role, one must have something to offer. This is a crucial point.

I see so many who approach this life who have lives that are a complete mess. If there is one word to describe it I would use "chaos". They are total failures in many regards while making a train wreck of everything they are involved in. Yet, they believe they are capable of taking on another and running his/her life. Thinking like this is dangerous and bordering upon insanity.

Before you can give something, you must first have that quality yourself. It is impossible to pass along something that you do not have. This is a simple fact of life. Knowledge, experience, and accomplishment are all things that are transferable if you have them. Sadly, most try to assume the role without having the qualities him or herself.

Similarity Repels

There is a saying that like attracts like. However, in the world of magnets, opposites attract while like repels. A dominant and a submissive are drawn to each other because they each fill a role. At the same time, it needs to be noted that the attraction is based upon what each will do for the other. A submissive is looking for certain qualities before his/her submission is fulfilled and vice versa.

One things that submissives want is guidance. They want someone who will successful manage his or her life. A dominant in a BDSM relationship is a leader who makes decisions based upon what is best for the relationship. Usually, submissive types made a wreck of their lives (in my experience) and need direction to straighten things out. At this point, this is where similarity repels. A dominant who has an equally chaotic life will not provide stability and confidence.

How successful would you be if you took weight loss advice from a 350 pound man? Do you think an accountant who owes back taxes is the best person to do your tax returns? Would you hire an imprisoned attorney to defend you on criminal charges? The answer for most sane people is "no". We go to people for help who we think has the ability to provide the direction we need. Obviously, anyone lacking the basic skills in these areas is one we want to avoid.

Get Your Life In Order

Before you decide to enter into this life, get your own life in order first. This is especially true for anyone who is seeking to live as a dominant. If your life is a mess, you cannot rightly expect to be successful with someone else. Taking care of yourself is needed if you are to take over another.

If you are broke, homeless, senseless, and/or addicted to drugs/alcohol, take care of those issues first. Also, if you suffer from an extreme case of immaturity, spend time growing up a bit before entering into this life. A sub/slave is looking for someone to take control. Dominating is a great deal more than just barking out orders all day. It means providing a direction for another life in a way that challenges him/her to grow so as to be of maximum service. This is an impossibility if you are clueless about the general aspect of life. You track record in your life overall serves as a gauge to how fit you are at achieving your ends. Submissive types want someone who will lead them to success. Trying to fake it will not work.

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