March 21, 2009

Know What You Are Getting Into

A quick question: would you ever marry someone without ever having dated before? The answer for most sane people is "absolutely not". If that is the case, they why do people choose to submit without knowing what being a sub entails. I see so many who are new to this lifestyle who rush to give themselves to another without having any idea what that person is like. To me, this is insane.

The online world rarely reflects reality. Life exists offline. What people do while online is not true life. For most, it is a fantasy played out. The transference to real time becomes difficult since they believe in the fairy-tale. This is the equivalent to believing that a relationship reflects what is portrayed in a romance film. Again, reality differs from fantasy.

It is important to research about BDSM as much as you can. There are many different facets to this way of life. It is wide and versatile. One is free to choose a relationship that fits him or her. I always say there is no "one size fits all" template.

I wrote An Owned Life in an effort to explain to new people the aspect of BDSM known as M/s (Master/slave). This is a facet where one makes a total commitment to another. The drive to submit within this person is strong. A total exchange of power is the end result. From the feedback received, those who read this book told me it cleared up a lot of confusion on their part.

The pictures online depicting BDSM are wonderful. Personally, I enjoy seeing how others live their life. Unfortunately, few are real life depictions. Most are professional actors and actresses. While still a bit educational, they are far from the everyday life that most experience. There is so much more to BDSM than just sex.

I suggest reading all that you can before making the decision to commit to someone. There are many blogs written by both Doms and subs. This will provide insight into the approach each takes. You will come to understand the mindset of each of these people while being able to compare it to how you feel. Seek those that talk more about the life as opposed to sex. If you want a sex story, pick up Penthouse forums. Spend your time learning about the lifestyle.

It is crucial to learn what you are getting into. There will come a time where one is confronted with making a life decision. This is something that affects others. Knowing what the decision entails is the responsible approach. There is a lot more to consider than just what one sees in some pics on a BDSM site.

Click here for your version of An Owned Life.



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