March 7, 2009


Contracts seem to be a topic of discussion periodically in the M/s world. There are even instances where I saw contracts used in the D/s relationship. On the surface, this seems like a valid way to enhance the commitment of a sub/slave. In reality, it is something totally different.

In my book, An Owned Life, I made reference to the use of contracts. Here in the United States, we occasionally see these documents come to light. And they rarely have good results.

To start, the owning of another person, according to statutes, is illegal. Slavery in any form is forbidden. A legal contract is only providing evidence that you are engaging in something that is against the law.

We who are in the lifestyle know that submission of one is consensual. In both the M/s and D/s relationships, there are certain parameters set up which both parties agree to. This is not forced "ownership" like the traditional image of slavery.

Also, the central premise of our way of life is the exchange of power. This is something that is agreed upon by the nature of the relationship. The Dom/Master is in control. All power is ceded over to that person. It is the foundation of how the relationship is structured. This is no different than a traditional relationship where one person is totally dominating. All power rests with one person.

Contracts only serve to create issues if something goes wrong in the future. Marriage was involved in the cases I saw come to light. In these instances, the sub/slave's divorce attorney introduced the document into evidence to prove damages. While the relationship was consensual, the court did not look at it that way. Each time, negative things happened.

I was once told to create a relationship with the end in mind. It is easy to make decisions when you are in love or when something is new. Everything is exciting and fresh then. When relationships fall apart, there are hurt feelings and strong emotions. Legal documentation only can come back and haunt you.

The M/s (and D/s) relationship is a structure that exists without formal paperwork. Just like some choose to take their vows in front of their Higher Being without getting formally married, so too do we design a relationship that works for us. There is no need to have something written on paper. If you see someone promoting this idea on a forum or blog, refer them to this article. It is a stupid idea without an upside.

Besides, a piece of paper is not going to truly increase your power. A Dom/MAster's power is not derived from a contract. It exists because of the manner in which he (or she) conducts each day. A sub will continue to submit when that person is being controlled in a way that works. A contract will not offset a lack of ability.

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