March 1, 2009

Focusing On Your Business

People in general have difficulty with this concept. I guess the human tendency is to concern ourselves with what others are receiving. We see this occur in school, the workplace, and with children. The common phrase that goes along with it is "it is not fair".

Of course, subs are no different. When dealing with multiple subs, if you are poly, you will find that these tendencies arise quite often. There might be some jealousy between them over the treatment each is receiving. Instances where the sharing and gossiping occurs to the detriment of all involved. Many times these circumstances will model the childish games which occurs between young siblings.

This is all par for the course. There is added emphasis on this when we cross over into the M/s world. There, since the power exchange extends into so many more areas, the tendency for comparing is great. In the end, it is like dealing with a child.

Those of you who have multiple kids will understand this concept. The bottom line is that no parent treats each child exactly the same. That is because no two children are the same. They are often different ages, with non-matching experiences. The maturity level (of the child) is a factor which affects a parent's decisions. Yet, one child is not loved, nor more valuable to the parent. Each are the same in that area.

The same is true for subs. Each has different experiences and training. Also, there are different maturity levels and limits to what each can handle. They all desire to be treated the same yet that is impossible. Some will gain a Dom's favor in certain areas. This is a part of life. Any sub who spends her time comparing herself to her sister(s) is in for a long afternoon. It will put her on an endless loop which she will not mentally resolve. There is no way to justify the situation positively in her mind.

Each relationship between a Dom and sub (master/slave) is individual. Is it best to approach it in that way. Whenever One tries to approach subs collectively, negativity arises. Human tendencies will take over. Be mindful of this when you are interacting with more than one sub.

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Anonymous said...

The need to compare is strong as you have said, sometimes subs feel as if they are being ignored especially if they are part of a poly family and they see another one having more interaction with the Master, this can then lead them to make conversations which forces their own interactions into the forefront, a type of " Well you got this but I got this" thing, this is something that can lead to arguments and bad feelings.
All I can say is be happy in your relationship and focus on that as anything else is not their concern


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